Hello, everybody, and welcome to a brand new series on heritage radio network called the culinary call sheet where we give a peek into the back kitchen of culinary media. I'm your host, April Jones,

and I'm your co host, Darren bresnitz. Part of why we started the show was to offer an unofficial mentorship for anyone who's interested in learning about all aspects of food and video, whether that's TV, social media online, or just something you want to do for fun.

Absolutely what was once niche or a little silly, as I'm sure you remember, Darren, when we started out, this man has now become such a massive playing field for so many creatives using food as the medium.

It's something that has driven us professionally and personally, for so many years. What excites me the most about this show is that we're going to sit down with some of the industry leaders to hear how they made it and what drew them into this industry.

With 20 years in the culinary production game ourselves. We're hoping we can give through these conversations an insider's view into personal stories from the field, as well as an in depth behind the scenes look into some of the most popular food programming. In today's evolving culinary media landscape.

We'll be covering everything from how to style your food, to how to license IP, to developing your own ideas, and some tips from the masters of how to host your own show.

Yeah, it's a little bit of conversation, how to and how do you do the things that you do in color media, which I'm so excited about? I love so many of the guests that are coming on this season. We have talent from Food Network from Vice media eater refinery 29,

we've met some of the best people in the world both in front of and behind the camera. And we're bringing them all together to share their stories, their delicious adventure and their unique journey into this crazy world.

So to be the first to hear our episodes when they launched this fall, go to wherever podcasts are streaming and hit subscribe and make sure to give us a follow at the Culinary call sheet on Instagram.

This episode of Cooking issues is brought to you by Bob's Red Mill an employee owned company that has been offering organic stone ground products for decades. Their flowers and whole grains are the highest quality and are minimally processed at their stone mill in Oregon. Visit Bob's Red mill.com to shop their huge range of products use cooking issues 25 for 25% off your order

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Hello, and welcome to cooking issues. This is Tevar on your cooking issues coming to you live on the heritage Radio Network every Tuesday. You know like you know noon ish like you know to about one o'clock for Uber's pizzeria in Bushwick. joined as usual, Anastasia the hammer Lopez and we got Matt in the booth. How you doing? Hello? Hey, well, so this is the like next Tuesday is Christmas. No, no, no. Something like it. Christmas similar.

It's Christmas. It's definitely Christmas adjacent.

Yeah, Christmas adjacent.

By the way it is Christmas.

Well, well, I won't be here because I'll be Christmas Eve and Stasiuk maybe sitting here. grumbling braid, like throw a brick through the window and

tell her that we almost got it. We almost got taken out last week.

Oh, yeah. So. So the Stasi and I on the same day, like almost independently got brain damaged by concrete. The fasciae more literally nice, like she's walking down. So for those of you don't know, the Stasi in Ireland, we're walking around the streets of New York, if we're in a bad mood, which is I would say often offers that and yet, at the very least often, right? So so the Stasi and I have this like years long, ongoing thing, where what we say is is that you're in the you're in the touch me mode. And what the touch me mode is, is you're waiting for someone to touch you. So the SOS you can just go off on it. You know what I mean? And it comes from I was walking down the street, they will tell the story on when I was walking down the street one day, and there was this giant guy and it became apparent after listening to this screaming conversation. What had happened was this giant fellow this giant fellow had somehow he he you know had umbrage that this somewhat shrimpy your fellow had done something to piss him off on the street. Furthermore, this giant fellow was, you know, had just recently gotten out of prison. He was on probation. And if he started any sort of fight, he would end up back in prison. Right? But he really, really, really, really wanted to crumple up this tiny guy into a ball into a bloody little ball. And like, you know, bounce them around the street a little bit. So, he was towering over this guy going towards me. Go ahead, God, just touch me, please, please just taught me so he could like so he could like beat the EverLiving snot out of this guy. And I've never seen a guy look so scared and so careful not to touch this dude. You know what I mean? So from then on, that was years ago, like the staff now they want to touch me moment. So like, the only thing we have is just ask and I have the listing where we have this because you know, I you we never we've been in business for a long time. And yet somehow oh, by the way, we're almost climbing out of the hole.

So loud we have to in two years and three months.

Yeah, knock on whatever the hell this terrible veneer is. Yeah. Anyway, so like I said, I've given ourselves like, you know, two years almost to like get by my 50th birthday to have us be in like kind of a stable good position business wise. And we pretend that being in a stable good business situation will make us happy in other respects. Probably not. But anyway. So the point is that the other thing we have is that whenever we like slip on something or like something hits us and we're in damage, like we imagined that if someone were watching the videotape on the security cameras that as we were about to get like, like intensely and permanently mutilated on somebody else's property. Yeah, that you'd see this giant smile go across our face, and we're like and there's like slipping, like asthma in the air about to get crumpled. Anyway. So the Stasi I had a moment where a concrete masonry unit was Johanna like here in New York, what they do is, is they when they're building, they do demolition, they install a chute on the outside of a window, and then they put a dumpster down below and then they cordoned off the whole area, so that they can just hurl crap out the window and it slides down into into the into the dumpster. Well, the guy upstairs was like, who needs to leave for the dumpster? Who needs to shoot it just threw a CMU unit out of the out of the window. And it lands like, you know, inches, like a flag less than a foot from the side of the Stasi, it was like Anastasia was like, instead of saying I could have been killed like Why couldn't it just him grazed me? You know what I mean? Like, couldn't it just hit me a little bit? Could have been big money, big money and like, you know, and with the anger, she could have had a righteous anger, like Anastasia is main goal in life. Again, if you come in New York, and you go on the trains, Oh, yeah. If you go on the trains here, especially on the L train, which is the train that runs between Brooklyn, and you know, between Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and you know, 14th Street Manhattan, right. It's like hipster Central and also a lot of bartenders to when they work that's where they go. So anyway, you're in this tunnel for a long time and you're going under the river and that's when the guys cannot, it's showtime. And then they get they do their little parkour moves on all the all the you know, the banisters and stuff spinning around, like almost kicking people in the head, Anastasia, every time it's like they're gonna kick Dave in the face, they're gonna kick David Stasi and makes me go in the center where they always go because her goal is a to get me kicked in the face and be to see my reaction. When we lit when we work down in Eldred street her goal in life was to get hit in the face with a loogie so that she could lose her mind this is just a little insight into like, you know how we operate. So the same day didn't stop you almost got killed by a concrete masonry unit. I for some unknown reason strapped on my bike helmet early without being on your bike without being on my bike. Yeah, which is a goofy look, by the way, and then and I was doing a bunch of that and I whipped around as hard and as fast as I can for those of you that don't know me I walk hard and fast. This is why almost so I had to go to the hospital and I was in Spain walking into a glass wall because when I'm walking it's with purpose, right Anastasia so I flashed my head into this concrete wall and I was like No but I have a helmet on if I didn't there would be no book or index that there would be no book or index that day. Anyways,

sounds like you should always wear the helmet

I know I'm that kind of guy. Yeah, yeah. Anyway you

could have picked the unit like in anger pick up in

your if it Gray's me.

So for those of you who have we talked about the legend of Baba Deep Singh now on the radio, so Baba Deep Singh the Sikh hero is like a character that I freakin love right so the you know the Sikhs are well known ferocious warriors and they have these like giant, huge, very heavy swords that you know. And one of the one of these heroes his name was Baba Deep, right? And he was so angry. He was like, he is old. I think he was like in his 70s in the legend, right? And this group of people comes to, you know, take over some territory or invade or whatever, I can't remember the specifics. So Baba deeps like I'm really and then he like he's like he's leaving the army he goes in with his giant super heavy sword. And one of the enemy dudes hits him in the neck and cuts his head, almost some people say almost all the way off and some people just say like, all the way through but holding on by a string. So instead of Baba de, this is where the Nastasia part comes in. Baba Deep is so angry that someone has chopped his head off. Yet he hasn't killed them all yet that he uses the one hand I'm assuming his left hand. I'm assuming he's right handed. He uses which, you know, Sumption. I don't know, he takes his left hand and holds his head onto his arm to the next stump, takes the sword and the other hand, and kills everyone. And then after he kills the last one of the enemies, then he drops his head and dies. And that's the kind of anger Anastasia would have. So if you ever kind of drop if you ever drop something on to Stasio and attempt to kill her, just make sure you're far enough away that she can't hold her head on with her with her bad hand while she's running after you with some sort of weapon in her right. Yes. No him. Yeah. So call all of your Christmas holiday cooking related questions to 718-497-2128 That's 718-497-2128 And while we're waiting last week, we had someone call in about a eggless pecan pie and I did a little I didn't make one because I don't have any time you don't I mean, I just don't have any I wish I had the time you know maybe in a couple years when we're happy again. I don't have the time to cook as much as I used to on the regular be great right? Instead now I'm like caught in a rut of like quick cycle cooking it's very hard for me to do research and long cycle cooking at this point in my life. But you know when I'm writing the book, maybe I will the SAS has given me the air quotes the laughing and then the universal never ready. What do you call this sign in a nice way? Oh,

God. I don't know. That's

there's got to be a nice way to say it. The you're wasting your life self pleasuring sign. The Stasi likes to use all the time you look at me. Look at me with dead eyes. And then you're like, Yeah, whatever. And then you give the sign. This is total the stars here. Don't lie. Don't front. Stars. Yeah, classic Fronter. So anyways, I looked them up. And I was in conversations with some people over the Twitter's and people gave him some ideas, some dairy based ideas. And I couldn't remember whether the color whether it was just an egg allergy or whether they wanted our trans listener, yes, but I can't remember whether they wanted whether it like the couple wanted vegan or just egg free, I couldn't remember whether it's an egg allergy, or whether it's a vegan thing. Anyway, the discussion was that, you know, using an egg replacer that's meant for baking isn't going to going to help because what you're using here is you're using the egg proteins actually not just a whole kind of bubbles to hold air to live in, you actually need to set something in a gel format. And I looked at a bunch of because it's not common to have kind of egg free non vegan stuff. I looked up a bunch of vegan pecan pies. And lo and behold, yes, typically, what they do is they use in some combination cornstarch. Most of them you know, some of the more complicated ones are more, you know, savvy ones are using kind of higher and starches like air Rudra things, but they're using cornstarch, and they're cooking it with a fat. So you could use butter in a liquid. These guys were using coconut milk, you could just use milk if you're not going to go vegan, and using enough cornstarch so that when you heat it and then bring it back, it cools and sets back into a custard once it sets. Now the thing about this is and it should be stable so you can heat it a little bit again and stay stable. The thing about it when you're doing these custard based things with straight starch and without egg is you need you can't just set it in the oven you need to boil off your starch beforehand before you bake, you need to boil your starts off to get it going because you're not going to get guaranteed to get a good customer otherwise, also you need to have enough fat in it. That the texture of it because the fat is going to provide kind of the texture as as it cools back down. And third, you might want to grind up some nuts or other things to put into it like fine almost people put like a nut butter and that should also modify the texture to make it a little more like a classic kind of pecan pie filling. So for instance for ratios you look at any one of these things on the web just realize that that cook pre cook step the boil offset step for the starch is important to get it to, to to function properly now, so a couple other interesting ideas some people mix tofu in you could do it or you could not do it silken tofu to add a little more body I wouldn't because I don't think it's going to add what I want. A lot of people added flax meal and what flat flax meal is not you know what I mean? So like, like hydrated flax meal is fundamentally snot. So I saw one recipe that didn't use cornstarch that just use snotted out flax meal, and then mixed it with cracker crumbs like not graham cracker crumbs, but like bread. Ready. Ready, ready, ready? Bread cracker? Ready, ready? Ready, but you're used to watch a Buck Rogers. When you were a kid that you've heard of it? There's a character named tweaky who's this little robot? And he always walks around Beedie Beedie Beedie Beedie a buck like this and he would just walk around this guy tweaky so it was Buck Rogers, who was the guy? The you know, the hot lady pilot whose name I forget. And then and then no. And the other thing about tweaky was he carried a doctor in the form of like, you know, Flavor Flav had that giant clock around him. So tweaky this tiny silver robot had Flavor Flav style, this giant round, almost clock faced robot who is the smart one. So I don't know why if he's so freakin smart, he couldn't build his own body. He had to be carried around on this moron tweaky so whenever like I say something like bread are ready. Ready, ready, ready read I do it in Twinkie long explanation anyways, so point being crushed up the cracker crust, mixed it with you know first hydrated the flax I forget what she used coconut milk or something like this. You could use whatever you want. That turns the flax meal into snot. You mix the snot with the crackers, that makes kind of a gooey snot. And then you mix that gooey snot bass into the into the bottom of the pie. And that's how she got the cluster. So here's those are the various kinds of techniques. Some people don't like little tofu, I wouldn't really go that way. Other people are making a straight basically corn just Eagles cornstarch custard. And so they're using fat, like a milk, a milk or milk substitute. And butter butter substitute is the fat with cornstarch, and then making sure that you let it cool until it is cold before you cut it because you need that stuff to set up properly. And pre boil or this Flexi snot or some combination, but I like the idea of mixing something in like crackers or smash from crackers, bread, you know, bread crumbs, or bread bread, or like like nut nut paste or not crushed nuts into that goop to get it to work because I remember, you know, the request was for goop. That layer of goop not nuts all the way through. Although as I said before, I'm a fan of both kinds of pecan pie. Nuts all the way through or goop in this dossier is one of those people who doesn't like pecan pie, right? Which is absurd, Matt, you also were on the no pecan pie thing. No,

no, no, no, I just I was at a fancy dinner the other day at the James beer house had the best pecan

pie in my life. Okay, and what was it goop or nuts and goop? Or? It was a mix. So yeah, there was a healthy dose of goop in there. But like a layer of goop only with the nuts floating on top. Correct. Yeah. And so what made it the best pecan pie?

I mean, first of all, I don't eat a lot of pecan pie. So the standards are low. Second of all, it was I don't know, I don't know what made it the best because I've never made one of myself. It was just I mean, it was just delicious. I got nothing. I got nothing, man.

Now. I love pecan pie. Did you put whipped cream on your pecan pie? No.

Ah. Oh my god. Well, first of all, there wasn't an option.

Who the hell shares pecan pie with whipped cream?

There was some fancy was it was their ice cream

ice cream. Okay, ice cream is a semi valid substitute for whipped cream on a pecan pie. The stocks that you like pumpkin pie? Yeah. So when someone has like Thanksgiving, what are the pies they bring out at the end of your Thanksgiving? Pumpkin? Just pumpkin? Just pumpkin.

All right, if somebody made something else,

we usually have a fruity pot, a fruit pie. Apple or Apple, similar. Pecan pie and pumpkin pie. And then everyone's like, I want slice of apple. I want to say it's a pumpkin. The correct answer is course all three. I want a slice of all three. And then just like generous gobs of whipped cream across all of them. That's what I like. But I love pecan. I love pecans. And for those of you that, you know, remember the years that we were working with hickory nut and we never got a good supplier. Yeah. If you've never had, I would love to make a hickory nut pie. If you've never had hickory nuts. You are missing out like if you love pecans, which to me, pecans are one of the great nuts. I love pecans. But hickory nuts are even better. It's just hard to get shagbark hickory nuts because they're so hard shell remember we broke all of those shelters we were trying to Shell it in. And then there's that guy in the nursing home. We used to shell them and then his there's a guy in a nursing home who I forget the guy's name but he lives somewhere like Ohio or something like this, where they have like a lot of the shagbark hickory trees. And the guy his only hobby was shelling hickory nuts. Can you imagine like watching Wheel of Fortune and shelling hickory nuts all day, like a shell another one and another one he could get like the nice big pieces, because we just hit it with hammers and try to sleep away the shells, right? And yeah, this guy, he would do it and then his like, daughter, or whatever, would pick up these nuts and then sell the nuts. And then she would bring him nuts to shell and be like, Dad, how many of you shell today? Remember, yeah, he must be gone now. But that was an amazing deal. Like, you know, I'm giving some old guy a hobby. And I get into hickory nuts, you know, making some extra money for them. Anyway, if anyone has a good supply hickory nuts, I would love that. But the solution that Piper and I came to was the old Native Americans solution, which is they didn't like they didn't like shelling new safety nets either.

But what else do they have? What the hell? They were like? Yeah,

well, we'll talk about this in one second Anastasia. But what they would do is they would pound the nuts with the shells together and make hickory nut milk which is very nutritious, straighten it out and get rid of the shells that way because the shells don't add too much tannin to the hickory nut milk. So you can extract a nice, rich, thick hickory nut milk without having the shells without having to show them it just you don't get to eat the nuts. As is you using nut milks. See, I'm saying so speaking of what was going on back then what do they have? I've just, uh, just finished listening to this book I've been meaning to read for years and years and years, called 1491. You ever hear this book? Why banging your head against the microphone?

The in depth look at pre Columbian America right? up

all of the Americas Yeah, yeah. So. So anyway, you know, and for a number of years, I can sense myself, I'm going to go down this research hole, I'm going to dive into this. Well, if

you're going to be in reenactment person someday,

you think I'm going to be a civil war? reenactor you always think anything I do. You're like he's going to become a reenactor this dossier half as soon as I read a book about Civil War reenactors by the way, they call a Confederate in the attic, which is an interesting read it well think about this people for those you that are Americans, like why are there so many more people who want to reenact Confederate side than the northern side? It's weird. Confederate in the attic is like the book on that. And like, you know, whatever, anyway, so that also, I have an announcement after this. Alright, so the thing is, is and you've known for, you know, for a long time, or you know, I've been researching for a long time, that kind of false idea that the forests when when Europeans arrived, you know, the forests were relatively open, and great for hunting and all this other stuff. And so the theory is, is that not theory, but like the, the fact is, is that that the Native Americans were here at the time us controlled burning, and did a lot of work to create a very particular kind of forest that wouldn't exist in nature, right. And so one of the thesis of this book 1491, is that, in fact, the entire Americas, there was no such thing as wilderness. So, like a lot of the things that we associate with wilderness like giant, giant, giant, giant buffalo herds, or like giant passenger pigeon migrations, where and you know, up until 1914, when they became extinct, Americans, European Americans would eat tons and tons and tons of passenger patients every year, because they're delicious, or mass fed things like like, like the way pigs used to feed on mass and mass is things like hickory nuts, beech nuts, and all, that all of this was somehow bountiful nature, the fact that there was all these chestnut trees, like this is nature, even in the Amazon, that the reason that there are so many fruit trees, such a high density of fruit trees in the Amazon is seen as a natural thing, and that we need to preserve this wilderness. And one of the tenants of this book, which is quite interesting is that no, in fact, these are all human mediated environments. And they only looked like they were natural, because when Europeans came, the diseases were so bad that they caused a population crash that is unprecedented in in, you know, kind of new world populations. And so it appeared wild because all of a sudden, now no more people were attending them. And still to this day, certain places like in the Amazon still have the imprints of the human manipulation that was done over 1000s of years interesting concept, and especially related to how can we get good food out of these quote unquote wild areas in the same way that in Spain, you know, the argument why is Spanish ham so good? Well, it isn't just it's because they have the access to the dehesa which is this protected, but yet human maintained environment of oak trees and grazing land. So anyway, so I'm probably going to next year go into some sort of deep well of research and not come up for while on the Stasi is going to berate me for it because there's nothing the Stasi hates more than me learning about

Yeah, because you have so many things that you haven't finished your book.

That's true. This is all going

in the book. Also,

I can't write about that. But yeah, but the thing is, is that all I enjoy doing, the only thing I enjoy doing is learning about things. Yeah, that's it. If like, that's my hobby. That's it. That's all I enjoy doing, like or foraging for food.

For the past 10 years, heritage Radio Network has brought listeners around the world the most important voices in food and drink. I'm Matt Patterson, the lead engineer here at Hrn. Six years ago, when I was teaching myself to brew beer out in San Diego, I listened to heritage radio shows for tips, tricks, and inspiration. Heritage radios, programming simply would not be possible without the support of listeners like you. Become a member of heritage radio network today, and give Hrn a strong start to our second decade. Choose from exclusive member gifts and stay in the loop on discounts to upcoming events. Now is the best time to show your support for Hrn. Go to heritage Radio network.org/donate.

On today's Bob's Red Mill moment, we're going to talk about sorghum sorghum flour. So sorghum is one of the kind of what you'd say millets, which aren't really a real group of things because they're not all related to each other. But sorghum is a millet that is native to Africans, that is one of the most important staples in the world, we just tend not to use it that much for human feed here in the US. You can also make from sorghum stalks, you can make sugar. So it's an interesting source of sugar and an interesting source of flour. It's high in protein sorghum flour is but it has no gluten so can be used in Gluten Free Recipes if that's interesting to you. Sorghum also has a very kind of cool taste, I really like it. So if you're substituting a portion of it into regular quick breads and or pancakes, it works very well. But I think a more interesting application is to do a traditional sorghum only recipe. I've attempted to make sorghum only biscuits. And I'm not quite there yet. But I did do an interesting egg recipe which I can talk to you about later, maybe in future, sorghum biscuit kind of egg coconut that I thought was interesting, but something that you can go look up online, how to make right now are who are rotis and who are rotis are a traditional Indian roti made only with sorghum flour. And what you do is is you have to use hot hot water so that hot water is going to get it to have the texture that you need to in order to make a roadie if you don't use the hot water, if it doesn't kind of swell and pregelatinized a little bit the starch inside of the sorghum, you're not going to be able to get a good dough that you can form into a proper roti. But then after you make the rotis it's just salt, sorghum and water. And these are the kinds of applications that I really enjoy for kind of a different flower like this because it really gives you the opportunity to use something to its best advantage and not just as a substitute for wheat. So look up a recipe online for July roti and remember that Bob's Red Mill carry sweet right sorghum flour for all of your baking needs. Go to Bob's Red mill.com and use the code cooking issues 25 That's one word all caps, cooking issues 25 for 25% off your order,

uh, speaking of learning about things and doing things. Well, one we posted on heritage stories, I will tell you this talk about that. It's a day and a Tuesday in the life of David I was last Tuesday's life.

And she only tells me this after she's already recorded a bunch of compromising things. She's like, Oh, yeah, by the way.

There's a lot. There's a lot of hidden messages in

first of all, I want everyone to know if they look at it. Right? I want everyone to know this. I haven't looked at it. And won't you want a date? First of all, I lived it. Why do I need to go back? And it's like people like you don't watch Food TV. I'm like, no, no, that's true. Like, why would I watch through TV? You don't I mean, like, No, you know what I mean? And then like, and then the other thing is, is that she's like, she's insulted a bunch of people there. But then he has like, the stars here. For those who says million times. She'll sit there and push my buttons and then get me to flip out and then she'll only hit record. But

yeah, there's a lot of that. Yeah,

but I want you to know, it isn't a false

No, it's not Dave it is.

Not you. Okay, second thing everybody loves wine, Santa. And if you want a large format drink at Dave's bar coming out of the mouth of a wine Santa email me

okay, here's what I don't understand. How do we charge for it? They get

a certain amount of this large format drink. How do I monitor? Because the wine Santa stays at their table?

How do I monitor consumption?

Well, there's like marks on the on the left. I am bro. Yeah, no, but

if there's eight people at a table, you have to pre reserve so there's one People at a table Well, if there's eight people at a table that's taking doing it, so hey, but still, you know, it's the bars nobody's gonna come to you and eight people get it and then everyone else is like I rather have something else you had and one guy drinks the whole

the whole table has to drink from the deal. Yeah, okay, well you know, email me if you want to only drink from the line I can't let

you know someone you know do the full Java and just put their face underneath the thing let's go ahead now know you just lost all your sales right there.

It's gonna be great.

Let's have you tell

the story about

yours. Anyway, we have Wednesday I

will please don't think that today that if I was gonna do it, I would have engineered it so differently. Like, this is terrible.

This morning. You see that this morning? See what our guy Chris was like I love

guy in Hong Kong. So listen, listen.

Anyway, look at our stories and stories. And we were

actually on one standard. What was it? The Stasi first of all is like I don't really care. The Stasi doesn't care about the things I care about. I do I wish you would just do it and then I don't care about the things Miss dossier. You care

about that I care about? Wine sampling.

There you go. There you go. Bang.

Much if anybody at the bar came up with it, so Nastasia it'd be genius like

wine Santa. First of all, Santa beard is made out of like polyester. And so like wine gets in Sanchez beard.

No. I've tucked it into his coat she trimmed

he cut Who the hell wants a Santa with his beard tucked into his oh

I think you guys should be mass producing wine Santa could be your next really big thing.

So anyway, so the stars Yeah, no,

thank you. I bet it would make more money than this. Here's all

the Stasi want to get to retirement sooner we do. Okay, the Aussie is like this is our big money Dave I'm like first of all private jet first of all, no. Yeah. How much are we making off the wind center this year? He's in his quiet phase. I'm gonna stab everyone everyone this dasya knows more than anyone else that you're not supposed to use the word quiet

No, no, no, I'm joking. This is his

This is with getting people excited. So cast it doesn't work very well. So

yeah, because I won't actually do the design work on it the problem with wine Santa for those of you that care about equipment is this this dossier has purchased a pump that is not the best pump for right and so the the amount of the distance that why that Santa pukes out the wind it's up to six feet that pump is related in six feet as the head you don't know pop terminology that's that's the head it can push anyway like the amount of force that the center is right now related to how much liquid is in the unit Yeah, so I wish you would so you need to separate the liquid level from the pump velocity because you need to keep the amount of

total wave away the secrets

there are no secrets you haven't solved this problem. You know how to solve how to solve the

future secret stay please

listeners right into me if you want to see why and Santa work well and have Dave make it I say you love Christmas. You

Belgians out there

one thing any Belgians Yeah, phone has been dead all day. And you just started talking about wine Santa, and we have a caller. Do you think that's coincidence?

I don't know. I'd rather have a mannequin pice. You know, you'll be pleased. Yeah, the statue that it's on the dynamite. Yeah. Anyway, we have a caller caller you're on the air.

I would love to see a wine Santa's at every table at the bar. Sadly, I'm an idiot and I live in California. But I think it still should be a reality.

What part of California?

I'm in Costa Mesa. This is Jeff gibbon.

Oh, hey, where's coastal Michigan? Where's that?

That's like south of Los Angeles.

Yeah. Do you watch Bojack Horseman and like it a lot.

I have I haven't seen recent seasons. But

my theory is is that Anastasia Lopez is Bojack Horseman minus a TV show.

I'm not gonna comment on that.

She's the female version of Bojack Horseman. I think pretty much that makes me tired, I guess. Anyway, so go ahead. You had a question about wine.

was speaking of learning. There's something I recently learned in my botany classes that I thought might be interested in. So with in, in the ground tissue of plants, there are three types of cells generally and Kalinka cells. The best example of those would be the stringy parts of celery. Celery stalk, go ahead.

I do hate them. I said yes, you're correct, yes.

So as the celery stalk grows, this klinken muscles get stronger and more rigid if the stem is exposed to a lot of strong winds or being shaken. So they continue to grow string year, basically. And so my hypothesis is that if you could grow celery in a more contained environment, without any strong wind, no shaking, no abuse that you could possibly grow celery with smaller, less rigid, less bothersome strings. So something maybe to try out.

What about that? Like? What about the the own Dave approach? And like actually mounting it as you go? It would also probably blanch it. What do you think you think that would work?

I'd say it's possible. Yeah, I think it would have a similar effect, just the more that you can protect it from needing that extra structure, or even even giving it support as it grows, the cell direction would probably then have less reason to strengthen those clinker muscles. So you do need air movement because of transpiration and photosynthesis, but yeah, like if you could, the mounting might work.

This is the reason people to have an International Space Station. Why aren't they growing celery on that sun? Yeah,

there you go. Sorry. I'm spacing. How

long does it take to grow?

The weeks maybe like six weeks?

See, this is something this like, like, if my tax dollars are going towards the International Space Station? Whose are yours? No.

Maybe we remember the roads we were on last week. The crappy roads and

yeah, anyway, but my point is, they should grow some salary on that son of a gun. Are you gonna test this hypothesis somehow?

Are you I'm gonna try. Yeah, I'll try a few things. We can grow things California. You're gonna we're gonna have one one small benefit.

Yeah, yeah. So you're gonna have like, do it indoor. You're gonna do some like hydroponic celery. They're using grow lights and all that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. Instead of just growing marijuana. You can also grow celery without strikes. There is apparently a British celery variant. That is they call stringless. But I'm kind of highly doubting it. I doubt that. I've used Cellulaze to try to break down those cells and the new luck it No, it must be the most knees like slightly lignified or something the strings must be more than just cellulose must have is are they Is there any lignin in that crap or? No?

That's, that's possible. It's just those specific Kalinka type cells. You don't find them in a lot of other mostly parenchyma cells which are the fleshy part and the square and Kumar like Peachpit type woody cells. So there's just a very specific type of kind of strong cellular wall cell but yeah, possibly linked into how come

they're not on the interior section of the Oh, because those are interior parts of the Is it is it a level stem or a modified leaf those things?

Their stem?

What do you think in those words, especially scullery?

Can you give the speaking of salary? Can you give the OG salary spec?

Yeah, if I can remember Let me see. So the first trick is generally, you're going to want to make an orange syrup. So you know, look up I can't remember off the top of my head but look up the bricks or measure the bricks you know, if you if you have if you're doing fruit work, you'll have a refractometer there. So measure the bricks of your orange shoes, make sure that you get a non bittering orange shoes obviously. And take the orange shoes up to 50 Bread buns. Yeah. Yeah, wherever you like we actually we use a naval cultivar and non bittering which is just luckily the cultivars that get shipped to us of navels are non vendoring I know there are bittering navels but ours are not most of ours are Yeah. And so please don't think so. What bricks 50. So like up to syrup and so then it is what was the what do we use? We used to use gin for that. I think I use gin sounds Yeah, yeah. So then it was the celery leaves and then a little bit of parsley to kind of balance it out. Right. Because the the parsley adds some a different kind of green hit to it. And just if it's only celery it's a little rough. And Merrick you want to use the American style or what I call the American style celery that Chinese celery will work but it is how it is it is a more bitter and has these kind of kind of volatile notes that are like a little more kind of aggressive. So the American salary, a little bit of parsley, and if you do have to use the Chinese celery then I would use more parsley. And then two ounces of the gem I was tinkering I think I use and then equal parts of lime juice and the and the orange syrup and some salt. So I did you know your nitro nitro modeling yeah nitro model, you could blend your model at I've tested it's fine it's not as good so it the ratio is depending on how you do it somewhere between a half and a half and three quarter and three quarter for the two ounces depending on how much kind of stuff I think it shades closer to three quarter than to half but I can't remember whether respected as three quarter three quarter keep them short or whether respected as half half keep them full, but it's really in the middle.

Great and no spinning just just blended and strained or muddled and strange.

Yeah. So if you nitro model it you nitro model it per drink, shake it and then put it through a fine strainer on service. If you blender model it you it's just leaves remember not stock and if you if you blender model it you you blend you blend, you know the full drink together, and then strain it before you shake it. Perfect. All right. Let's know how it works. I think that's cool.

Did you hear that? What he said he wandered away in Santa it every time.

Yeah, but how are we gonna fit? Like, the thing is, is that having it at your house where you don't have like legal alcohol serving responsible or too much of illegal alcohol serving responsibility

and have to have four people they all have to be drinking from it. And that's the rule.

No, is you don't care about like the law, or whether like

someone gets drinking a bottle of wine is

not it's not a bottle of wine. You can't run wine Santa off one bottle of wine. No, we turn them off after they've drank a bottle and how you're going to monitor that.

There's marks on the camera. So

you need a staff person to sit. I will be there and stare at this freaking thing. You drank too much. I will be there. I will bless it can't be wine because it's gonna get like too highly oxygenated. What are you gonna actually put it when Miss Darcy actually takes us places she freaking loads it with vodka. People like it. It's not even chilled people. People. It's not even chilled. The Stasi has not done the basic research to get it right. This