Cooking Issues Transcript

Episode 335: Asymptotic Openings


Hello, everybody, and welcome to a brand new series on heritage radio network called the culinary call sheet where we give a peek into the back kitchen of culinary media. I'm your host, April Jones,

and I'm your co host, Darren bresnitz. Part of why we started the show was to offer an unofficial mentorship for anyone who's interested in learning about all aspects of food and video, whether that's TV, social media online, or just something you want to do for fun.

Absolutely what was once niche or a little silly, as I'm sure you remember, Darren, when we started out, this man has now become such a massive playing field for so many creatives using food as the medium.

It's something that has driven us professionally and personally, for so many years. What excites me the most about this show is that we're going to sit down with some of the industry leaders to hear how they made it and what drew them into this industry.

With 20 years in the culinary production game ourselves. We're hoping we can give through these conversations an insider's view into personal stories from the field, as well as an in depth behind the scenes look into some of the most popular food programming. In today's evolving culinary media landscape.

We'll be covering everything from how to style your food, to how to license IP, to developing your own ideas, and some tips from the masters of how to host your own show.

Yeah, it's a little bit of conversation, how to and how do you do the things that you do in color media, which I'm so excited about? I love so many of the guests that are coming on this season. We have talent from Food Network from Vice media eater refinery 29,

we've met some of the best people in the world both in front of and behind the camera. And we're bringing them all together to share their stories, their delicious adventure and their unique journey into this crazy world.

So to be the first to hear our episodes when they launched this fall, go to wherever podcasts are streaming, and hit subscribe and make sure to give us a follow at the Culinary call sheet on Instagram.

This episode of Cooking issues is brought to you by Bob's Red Mill, an employee owned company that has been offering organic stone ground products for decades. Their flowers and whole grains are the highest quality and are minimally processed in their stone mill in Oregon, visit Bob's Red mill.com to shop their huge range of products, use the code cooking 25 for 25% off your order that's cooking, and then the number two and the number five for 25% off your order.

So there you have a Moria Margo and co host of the speakeasy right here on heritage radio network. You know, my favorite thing to do every week is to come here and be on the show. I have lots of jobs. I'm a very busy person. And I do this because I love it. I get to sit down and talk to all my heroes for about an hour every week. It's incredible. And I hope that you enjoy it, making a great effort to share with you. We'd like you to share back with us. It's our summer fundraiser and we'd love for you to donate at Heritage radio network.org forward slash donate you can click on the beating heart and you can even choose shows that you'd like to donate to specifically and you can also choose a recurring monthly gift and for all that would be greatly appreciated thank you so much

Dave earlier also cookies is coming to you live on the network every Tuesday from roughly 12 to like no no 1245 I don't know like one o'clock from Virtus misery in Bushwick. joined as usual with Anastasia the hammer Lopez how're you doing? We got Dave in the booth Dave How you doing? Good. And America's favorite punching bag Father God

I'm like I feel like this I'm that guy in WWF when it comes out like everybody just boom

you're there watch out for the metal chair

and I'm sorry I act oblivious to it and go around and put my fist nonetheless. Even though all the kids are like boom

Yeah. Boom. It's a witch wrestling character are you

hated let's see who was the who was the most hated

one when I was a kid it was the sheik was pretty hated. Yeah,

the chic That's old school. That's

an older that's later though. Randy Savage Hulk Hogan era she was Jake the Snake Roberts like yeah, like

Yeah, so like, wasn't Rowdy Roddy Piper was a heel wasn't even liked him. But he was a heel, wasn't it? Yeah.

Well, there's a point at which a Hulk Hogan has been on both sides, right. So

yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah.

Are you Hollywood Hulk?

Yeah. Well, my spandex says so.

Yeah. And are you good enough? Do you have to pre purchase everything so they're written off properly as a drink like if you if you're got the real muscles you don't need a pre perfect clothing to rip it off it just rips off I have to put snaps up the side of my pants to get that to work

I like the image of Hollywood Hogan before each match like meticulously like slipping out little pre you know pre perfect his cert yeah right i gotta get this right

and get this right. exactly the right places. So Peter EULA and Dave, you will enjoy this story about Anastasia Lopez that she doesn't even know I'm going into Oh, juicy getting ready. So check this out. So like there was a business was a business called the name of the business. First of all, as listeners to the show will know somehow if you ended up at this podcast and don't know what's going on like, I'm sorry for you. Yeah, apologies. Yeah, but Mr. Garcia and Mark Ladner opened a quick service pasta restaurant called pasta flour, where my son happens to be working at this very moment.

He's really meatballs.

Oh, well, I proposed the story. We tell the story. Then we tell the story about when he had to peel the garlic. And he started crying and he started crying and like in like, you know, jabbering in Spanish about how he hated peeling the garlic. And he thought that like the whole restaurant was only gonna do one quart of garlic. So then, as soon as he finished that cord, he was like I'm done. So it was like she gave me the next floor and he's like, apparently to the merriment of everyone around him. Anyways, so I walked by so like on this literally the same block was another startup Italian quick serve concept called meatball obsession. PS meatball obsession. It says Home of meatball and a cup I didn't realize first of all there's a phenomenon that it could be a home of but let's just say right meatball cup phenomenon. Unfortunately for them they closed but Anastasia low quality individual that she is. Me Oh come on. So I'm walking faster today on the way up from the bar more on that later. I'm walking on my way up to the thing. And like what's funny is is that people on the street might think this is genuine only you true listeners and cookies will notice there's a pasta flyer notice plastered like like like a like like a band is coming to play at Webster Hall. There's a freakin plasters of pasta flyer notices. And here's what it says. We miss our neighbors to need meatballs come to pasta flyer.

Wow. Mark wouldn't let me post it. And he's like, unless it's nice. And I was like, Okay, and so

then the Stasi, I guess in her mind, she's like, obviously not obsessed with me, ballsy enough, obviously not enough. So

the Stasi is the kind of person who goes looking for a new apartment in the obituaries.

I gotta be honest, when I do order, you know, that's how I got into the Manhattan. That's how I was able to purchase an apartment in Manhattan was literally posted looking for dead people and found one

tackles a whole lot of you.

Here's the thing. There's only so many slots here in Manhattan. And you know what, one of the ways you get one of those slots is somebody dies. We all do it. Yeah. It's a circle of life. Yeah, it's the circle of rent. Yeah. I mean, it's like they are you know, whatever. Yeah, so we

love to stumble on a dead person's Manhattan apartment.

Let's see, here's how it works. Here's how it works, what you have to do is you have to find a neighborhood that is in transition, right? So like a family style neighborhood where an entire because a lot of neighborhoods in in Manhattan, all of New York are built up around communities, and the community grows up lives and dies in that community. A lot of times though, the children from a particular generation will start moving to a new community. This is like the succession of neighborhoods which Peter actually you can talk about if you want how that affects food and food and culture is one of the major aspects of New York City Life is how these communities can move typically from Lower Manhattan areas or in specific now hotspots in Brooklyn and Queens and then they radiate to different neighborhoods as they become more affluent, eccentric cetera

Danny's like updating the Power Broker on the spot for us. Anywho.

So my whole neighborhood changed. And all of who used to live in in my neighborhood and lower Manhattan has moved to Williamsburg. And so when that when the parents of those people die as they started to do in great numbers, and in the early 2000s, late 90s, early 2000s Till today, all those apartments come up for sale because none of the kids want to live there. They're all living with their own families. In Williamsburg, and so they're for sale and they're not going into the family. And that's how stuff works here. You gotta, you know, find the next neighborhood where, you know, people have moved elsewhere. And when they die, they're like, do you want to live in my apartment? No. Just cash out. Get the money was split. We'll split it among the three of us. Thanks, Ma. Let's have tacos. Yeah. Meatball obsession. You really miss our neighbors to our neighbors to Anastasia all the time. It's like Bob session lead.

So can we take a moment to congratulate Dave? On the opening? conditions?

We are finally open

finally open at i That was the most asymptotic

bar opening. No, you know what?

While it was is anticipated

the assumption there's Yeah, that's my hope is the joke on asymptotic is that you never actually reach it. Yeah. So like in the limit towards infinity we open but that we were seeking one tiny

step closer. I thought the joke was going to be putting the aspect in asymptotic. Oh,

that's somebody to put him on. You're welcome. Nice.

He is on the show. Oh, I see. That's a good word.

Anyway, congrats. And for what it's worth. I mean, I went on Friday. And it was amazing. That's

a lie with Peter. Peter is a good friend. Peter is a good friend. Unlike Anastasia Peters, a good friend.

You did go on Friday. It was not amazing.

It was really good. The drinks. were amazing. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. People people let's talk about this. People, people, friends and family. If if you're doing a restaurant or a bar, please like friends and family is so important. Our ticket times words ridiculous. Like the ticket times are just bonkers. Our POS system wasn't up and running. Yeah, so the the first day have friends and family. I can't believe we only did two days of friends and family. I would like to do look, everything's a mix. Right? It took us so long to open. As Peter said, asymptotic opening. Oh, you'll enjoy this. I'll tell you after. But like asymptotic opening. It took so long to open and we're burning through like personnel and money and stuff. So you're familiar with this, right? And then so then you're like, Okay, well, how many days of friends and family do you want to do? Because then you're burning through wages, like hard wages, and not just like prep wages, hard wages, and product. I brought my own and just a terrible person.

Wow. Really? You brought your own wine?

Oh my god. for day two, you say the worst. You know what the it's like almost like you product. It's almost like

everybody should have done that come to decisions with their own wine.

Yeah, yeah. The corkage fee is a hit you over the head with a bottle. Exactly. But the the thing about it is I think if Miss dasya was like, like a normal civil person, no one would know what to do. You know, like if she literally on Friday, she came in and ordered wine. And so beat the server down that he wrung it in, even though we had no wine in the building. Wow. Because our wine order didn't come until yesterday morning.

He also heard Oh, kitchen slammed we'll have one of everything, please.

I came to the table. And she's like, What do you get? She's like one of everything. I'm like, you would? You would? Because

I knew it wasn't all gonna come, they're gonna forget. So we were gonna get some.

Oh, so you take the kitchen down with tickets? No. Yeah, the kitchen. Anyway, the point also is that and friends and family, it's harder because in a restaurant, the assumption is everyone's going to have a full meal. So people order stuff, the kitchen is prepared for that. At the bar, the assumption is you're only going to do about 25% of your sales in food. But your friends and family people over order food so the food ticket times get, you know, get we we soaked the kitchen in blood and then wrung it out that night. You know what I mean? In terms of like, just slamming it. And the period of the first night where people were actually spending money there. Like it was a lot smoother last movie anyway. But also, you know, we spend so much time doing our like, you know, cold wells and cold plates and carbonation and all that like razzmatazz animal stuff that you know, it's it was hard for us to fit in like the normal staff training. Like, here's how, here's how the ticket prints, you know, all this stuff and all that stuff super important. Your POS goes down which you know, point of service, which also stands for the I just always thought in my head when I say POS I'm thinking yeah, piece of piece of Shaco you know, sack of Shaco and I'm like Like, you know, the it's like if that thing goes down your the customer experience is totally ruined and they don't know. They don't know why. You know if you've never worked in a restaurant before, or never had to use a POS system before your

POS is down here like,

what does that mean? I don't care. I don't care. Like you know who but like, or you're like, why can't you? Why can't you put $15 on mine and 3285 on on his climb in your knee? It's like you don't have any buttons I have to push and like finger my doodles I had to do and then I have to keep POS is a pain in the butt right and says Mark won't even use it. Now lucky. That's how I was at Booker and DAX now. I have to work dude. I have had to for the past like three nights. I've had to work the floor at the existing conditions. I hate working before I do it. Yeah, right. I was searching the Stasi. Hey, order order something or don't. It's all the same to know I can go back into that mode.

Yeah, I was. I was amused to see you. Front of House.

Oh my god.

I just found a natural fit for you.

I feel unsafe. It's like it's just like the whole thing. Like, you know, like hanging out in the kitchen. I feel safe hanging up behind the bar. I feel safe. But

Front of House is all about small talk man. Or

like, small talk. Or it's like, it's like it's like you like you don't I mean, it's like, I don't know. And then like it just it's a nightmare. I just feel completely. I detest it.

Can you instruct your servers to never use a Wii that they have? They didn't say

we don't know if they ever came up. But it's just little Oh, we had that conversation.

Biggest thing? How are we doing today? Enjoying?

No, that's not referring to the restaurant as we that's not allowed? Is it? Yeah,

no, that's where we

are by now. You

are taking your order.

We the rent we the restaurant, or the We the bar prepare something in a certain way? That's right. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

But we including people at the table plus the server is

but it is true that I am eating half of your food on the way out. Just you know, that's just true. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yeah. So yesterday, get this get this. So you're also totally beholden to the your POS system. Because there is no like the POS system. Now. Because we're not in the days of writing things on pieces of paper and yelling them at the at the bartenders or yelling at the cooks to call the orders in the POS system is literally how the the bartender or the chef is told to cook your cook or make your product, right. So if it takes you a long time, there's a problem with the POS, your stuff doesn't even start getting made until this stuff at the POS system is ironed out. So it's like adding huge amount to the ticket. We're Aloha, we're ironing stuff out. But yesterday,

I think that's what they use here. Aloha tried switching to square for a couple of weeks. And it was like a dismal failure apparently,

like squares, one of those things where it like works for 35 seconds people like oh, why doesn't everyone use this?

Because it breaks all anybody was talking about here for weeks.

Yeah, cuz once it breaks, you're toast. So yesterday, for some reason, Aloha was like, You know what, let's wait and see how this whole bar thing works. Whether this is going to work out or not for them via before, you know, we let you I don't know charge credit cards, maybe you should be a cash only business until like, you know, we let you process credit cards, you know what I mean? So we're like, Oh, crap. So we had to do what's called offline processing. So for those of you that don't know, if the internet's if the series of tubes known as the internet goes down, you have to process the credit cards offline, and then everything has to be reconciled within 24 hours, right? So otherwise, the person who you charge can be like, I don't remember going to that bar, you know what I mean? And then you're out all the money. So what happens is he's like, we're like, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Steve is going to be working within 24 hours, we're going to swipe offline. And when you swipe offline, by the way, you have to press the button like 85 times, Hello, Manager, tell the manager that your system doesn't work yet. No crap, every time I swipe in the manager, tell the manager I am the guy, that manager the manager. Anyway, so like, we're swiping in and then Aloha was like, I was like, You know what? This charge is more than $100 Maybe it's a fraud and then it was declining. All of the offline charge is over $100 So all the Four Tops like anyone that was like, you know, having more food or beverage at their party over $100 And it was just bouncing them so we were winning people's cards four and five times. That's and they don't understand POS so it's super embarrassing for the guests. Right? So like you're coming you're paying and like all your credit cards are getting declined. You think maybe this is like some sort of like you know a movie situation where your identity has been stolen or like Glenn Close when it come murder. Are you or kill a rabbit or something? And it's like, you're like, it's so like, it's super embarrassing. So after the fourth time, we were just being like, it's on us. We really apologize, come back again. And then we had to give them the Yeah, our costs were banana Lammas because the

credit run the ticket even without processing,

we because we run the ticket beforehand, and then we close it at the end, and then it declines it so we hit it out. So like, Dawn runs, like, you know, basically through jumps through the window outside so you can get on the on the, on the phone, they've thankfully picked up the phone, and they're like, oh, yeah, has to be on $100. So then this is the image we looked like. We had to sit there and split everyone's check up into sub $100 increments and run their car like four or five times. And then you're at the table. They're like, way, way, way, way. Wait. So did you charge me like 23 times? Glasses? Yeah. And it's like, oh, yeah, I'm sorry. The POS doesn't work with you. Mokes. You don't I mean, it's like it's a whole thing. It's the whole thing. And nobody likes for their check. Look, as soon as they asked for the check. They want it to be quick, smooth and clean. That's all people want. They got clean. They want to get out. You know what I mean?

So what why is it that you had to go under 100?

You know what I mean? And that's not something we can change or knew about. That's a feature raise. You

have the number and all that stuff to call them or

dizzy. Don has any Don's going to tell us the cocktail. So if any of you want to see a real a real poop story. Oh, man, Peter, we should go back. Yeah, come like next Monday or Tuesday night. I can help you serve

date. Let's go and just cause trouble. Oh, yeah.

Come on, guys. No, Miss das imagined Anastasia date. Oh, Miss dassia is the worst at understanding what she's good and bad. All right, then.

I hate her. I shouldn't be teaching your son anything. I guess.

I didn't say you're bad at everything. I didn't say you're bad at everything. I say that like okay, here's a story. I've told us many times on the air Anastasia comes up to me, Dave. I'm really good at darts. Like, hey, I'm laying in the dirt story yelling the

greatest hits. Yeah, I'll

say I'm like, It's the classic thing people can understand right away. She has no sense of whether she's like she thinks she's good at certain if I care, you know that if I care? I do. Well seem that you seem to care enough about darts. You didn't talk to me for like three days after that Dart incident. That was like you barely beat me. I was like, Yeah, but I also suck.

That's when he gave me my review.

though. Yeah, that's the day that like, I irritated your friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, say goodbye, right? Yeah, I didn't say goodbye. This is he was so mean. It was not he was like He did not say goodbye. He just doesn't know you exist. He didn't.

Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, way back

in the day. He

just doesn't think you're worth the air that you breathe. He's like

he's like you didn't even know you were here. It's like it's like, you know, by the way, heritage radio as a bar warming gift is gotten gotten us a Fern. Fern because it's a low level plant that is planted in a replica of the Heritage radio. Container studio. Super cute. It's

adorable. It's great. Yeah,

we keep ours Oh, wait

Hey, what's up? Yeah, sure. Caller you're on the air.

Hey, Dave and the crew. The lowest AJ for Charleston, South Carolina. I came across something new the other day. I wanted to ask you back carbonated salsa. Okay, you heard of No, had a jar of paste sauce of their day in my fridge and it was well within its expiration date. But it had been open for about a month. And when it ended up I didn't hear any like fizzing or anything but poured into the dish. Everything seemed normal when I tell you that at a light alcohol tastes right. And when I looked at it had the actual bubbles coming up and then they ate it again. The alcohol had like that bite of carbonation. So it's actually pretty dense. So first off, I wanted to ask if this is something you would think is safe and I did have two bites of it before deciding maybe I should think about this. But yes, it's perfectly fine. And it tasted actually better. I liked it that way.

Yeah. Nice. So now your phone cut a little bit out so it had been open and then put back in your fridge.

Yes, so had an open in the refrigerator for about one month.

Wow surprise that the pace corporation doesn't put benzoate or some sort of stabilizer in it to prevent yeast from going it was it do taste more yeast or is it tastes more lactic acid. More lactic acid. Yeah. So I'm surprised that it I'm surprised they didn't put something to stabilize it in, but I'm gonna guess kind of kudos. I years ago, I did a fermented salsa where I did a lactic acid pickling of the tomatoes and they got like a little a little fizzy and then use that to make a salsa. And I thought it was delicious. I loved Yeah, you know what I mean? It's really tasty. Yeah, I thought it was really, really good. I've never seen it sold in a store. But look at that acidity at the acidity level of tomatoes. You know, most sauces are fairly acidic. Anything that grows in that, and they're also you know, somewhat salty, in none of that stuff going to kill you. So if you liked the taste of it, I mean, I'd say go for it. Unless it was moldy mold.

You know, it was always check for that. I don't

think I don't think the stuff that's growing in that is going to harm any other words. I'm not I'm not a a food safety microbiology expert, but at my house, if I liked the taste of it, I'd eat it.

Gotcha. And then to go along with that, is there a reliable way you think to repeat that? Just like on its own? Or do you think I want to actually do that I should dope it with some cultures are liked lactic acid or whatever to say like that again?

Yeah, the latter I would. You could like if you have any good way to get like, I mean, obviously every medium is a little bit different. But like before, if I want to kickstart something if I have some sauerkraut, some like an unpasteurized like live sauerkraut in my or whatever, in your kitchen that you like, or you can like dope a little bit in just to get it started, although a lot of times those cultures are in pretty bad shape by the time you're there in your fridge because they're not like hyperactive, but it's probably better than nothing, you know what I mean?

Okay, or if I start some fresh sauerkraut and then just add some in next time I'd make it

Yeah, I mean, well the one thing that I would say is that salsa salt levels aren't like as high usually as crowd so I don't know how stable a lactic versus other like stuff you're gonna get in it. You might get other ancillary stuff but as long as lactic takes over I don't think you're gonna have anything from a health perspective negative growing and you might have off flavors in it but I don't think you're gonna have anything that will you know, take you take you or your family out.

Okay, so the go by my senses I can trial and error and maybe make it again

I mean someone on the you know, Dave see whether anyone out there disagrees with me on that thing, but tomatoes specifically are high acid and in salsa you're also typically adding more acid in the form of lime and salt. I don't particularly think the the chilies are going to have or the or the alliums are going to have any major I mean I have some but major bacteria static effect on it. Although I know that alliums do have some bactericidal stuff but I don't think enough to trust to stabilize your your product. So but I mean, they're a minor component, I would say it's mainly tomatoes, acidic, and salt. Good. And, you know, lime. Good. You know, I mean, so I'd say I would eat it. If it tastes good. I would eat it.

Perfect. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your help and still enjoying the show after yours. Great.

Thanks. So Thanks for Thanks for listening know me I'm getting disillusioned. Yeah, good.

point was when when Dave Arnold slammed your your dietary choices. What was it? I can't remember what it was.

By the way. I'm a little loopy today. So if I answered things crazy, I don't have very much sleep.

This is an opportune time. Oh, yeah. This is the sound when I could that's the day of about oh, I've been working so hard is

I was worried. I didn't say I was working hard. I've been I've been I've been watching Westworld. I've been watching Westworld. I've been working just Westworld.

One point I won't wait. I think I sent you the beaker video. Yeah, me me. Me. Me. So good.

So yeah, Anastasia. I'm like honest as he only got two hours sleep. Oh, must be nice. Yeah, that's right. That's the classic old school chef thing. You're like, oh my god, I pull it. I pull 14 I'm always doing worse than you must be nice half day

we're the worst people in the world. We really are. It's like this is one of the things that needs to go away. It's like we're talking about like hiring, hiring hosts which we really have to staff up we're understaffed we thought we could pull it off with fewer staff. It you know look when you're when you're when a large portion of your staff is in the tip pool. It's not so much saving the house money that's the most important although obviously the House wants to save money, but you don't want to water the tip pool down too much. because then it's not good for your crew and you can't get the same caliber of people to stay because they don't get the same take home anyway. I don't know where you're gonna sit so Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, they're they're in the in the process of staffing up now I don't know where I even started with I don't even know I don't even know how I got into that. That's how that's how. That's how I've done but the Mee Mee Mee Mee Mee, Mee Mee Mee Mee

let's take a quick break, so you can like recover a little bit. All right.

So the Stasi, though, so the thing about the thing about the thing about it is, is

that if you already told the meatball story, this is what

a jerk, jerk eat animal poop and dark jerk. That's another Wednesday, close quote, like slightly, slightly made nicer. But honestly, it's such a, in a way, like hard business, we were talking about hiring the host. And we're like, what is a living wage for someone like this person? Typically, the host is not on the tip pool, right? For a lot of places. They're not the tip, although Booker and ducks they were on the table, but like, how much like they need to be like a smart, friendly, like, you know, well dressed person, like what does that require that to live in New York? It's crazy. I don't know how I you know, I don't know, the whole industry doesn't I don't know how the industry doesn't work. And that's how you get this dumb stuff, where someone's like, and like the mess other than mess up thing is that, like, we're all on the clock. So now we must be paying ot out of our ears. I don't know what it is. But it's like, it's like back in the old days when people weren't following any labor laws or anything like that, especially on the cook side, right? Or cyber is like, yeah, they're literally beat each other into the ground and make fun of each other for being reasonable. And it's not cool. But on the other hand, like, you can't charge more for what you're doing because like the market is what the market is. And it's one of the things about the industry that I don't know, when push comes to shove how it's going to sort out like I just don't know how it's I don't know how it's going to work on a on a fine dining or a high high end bar, or any of this where service is important. Like how can you make it work without just grinding people into just that the rents are too damn high? Yeah. Are you a member of the rent is too damn high party by the way, people who have never been in New York, there's literally a political party here called the rent is too damn high.

Because honestly, I mean, that's like the one thing you could I mean, because the I don't know where the breaking point is. Yeah, restaurant owners are not making money staffer not being paid anything customers are unhappy with how much they're paying,

let them just run owners. I think like if you get me like I think it really depends. I think the problem is, is that you try to staff up to do a good job and it's labor that eats through your, your your budget, so if you can, that's why bars are so genius because a lot of the labor pools and the temperature is slightly cheaper for us to run and your margins are better so bars are a lot easier I think than restaurants I think people overestimate you know on restaurants how much money you can actually extract out of that business that's why little jokes is the you want to make you want to make a small pile of money start with a big ol pile of money and open a restaurant. You know what I mean? Like, like, Oh, I know it's yeah, whatever. But like, I mean bars or bars or are easier but I mean a lot easier. You can if you get your numbers right, it's all about getting your it's all about getting your numbers right. All right, we'll take a break Dave, come back, we'll re compose myself. We'll come back with more

so I got some, I got some steel cut oats from our Bob's Red Mill. Those of you who are in the Cincinnati area my call that I get what do they call that pinhead oats I think and what I like about them any kind of cracked green cooking right so you think about your grits, your steel cut oats. What's nice about them when they cook up is they retain their grain texture but because they're cracked, they also get a nice kind of poor G texture so if you if you like grits right? You will like this the the stone cut oats now what I was doing was really interesting to me. First of all, I'm a lazy sucker so I like I like to put them in a in a rice cooker and make the stuff in a rice cooker you got to be a little bit careful with oats because even more so than other grains like corn, oats tend to really boil up in your rice cooker so it's when it boils up it's going to hit the roof of your rice cooker but for those of you that have a brain and likes grapples grapple is delicious, right? But East Coast grapple is is usually corn, buckwheat some other stuff right mixed up with kind of pork trimmings and pork awful right and cooked into a block and then set and then cut and then you fry it up. It's delicious. But in the in more in the middle of the country. They make a product called Goleta and Goleta is scrambled made with steel cut oats. Now you can do a quick easy version of Goleta with Bob's Red Mill steel cut oats by making your favorite kind of meat stock, reinforcing it with whatever meat you want. You don't have to be traditional anything Like you can use sausage, you can use, you know, pork hocks, whatever, cook that down in your broth a little bit. And then in your rice cooker, your slow cooker, make the steel cut oats with, make the steel cut oats with that broth that you have, right, make sure it's nice if it's a nice kind of gelatinous broth is going to help it set up later. Make sure to cook it enough to cook enough water off. That's the secret of kind of large grain cooking is making sure you add enough water and making sure that as you cook it down, you cook it so that the inside is fully cooked and the moisture level is low enough. When you're done that it's going to set back into a solid block. Right after it's done cooking, you can stir in the meat that you've already you know pre cooked off, set it into a blog, cut it and fry it, go to Bob's Red mill.com and use the code cooking 25 That's one word all caps cooking 25 with the number two and the number five for 25% off your order. Yeah, and we're back. So Dave, the Neverending Story. Turns out I give more cooking advice in the commercial

than on the show. Funny how that works. Yeah.

So Peter King, by the way, pointing out what a low quality individual I am. says, you know, that I came into the studio said how are you doing and immediately put on the headphones? Because

Peter was responding

for me, you know, I'm like, oh, what? The hell? I'm doing? Yeah. First time. Yeah. Well,

I'm actually you know, I'm fine. I can't hear you. Talk to you my headphones on jerk.

So there was a famous homeless guy in New Haven in the late 80s, early 90s called the how're you doing? Guy? So maybe I'm like him. That was what he was like. It was like a mantra with him. He's like, how you doing? How you doing? How you doing? Maybe I'm the I'm the new hire.

Like I said today at least leave open the possibility of hearing the response to how you doing? That's what I say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't have to laugh or stand up comic. So

anyway, we've had that argument at the bar at not at my bar, but at other people's bars so many times and there's always a split among whether you whether there is a social obligation to at least look mildly entertained when you're watching a standard committee or smile show. That's all I gotta do. I'll take, I'll take so

I was just telling Dave that I was up in Quebec, and Montreal, and I was asking what he thought about Montreal style bagels.

And I used what Peter did to obliterate a college student wants, like, they took Peter out to dinner. And they're like, how do you like your dinner? And his response was no,

they said, This is the best restaurant in our town. We're so proud of our food,

and what do you think of it and he goes overcooked in underseas, and classic. And then, and then the kid on the other side goes. So how do you get into this business? He's like, Deloitte

took a long drag on his cigarette and crushed it out.

He's like, he's like, I don't I don't sense you have the Moxie.

Like, well, what? Well, what do you want to do in the industry? He's like, I just would like to cook at Noma or something. Like come on.

I won't even repeat what the Chef Chris Lee said to someone in the kitchen. No, no, it was not appropriate. And it should not be the kind of thing that said to people in the kitchens. But it was the equivalent when I came in.

So anyway, Montreal, bagels, overcooked and underseas Yeah, why add salt season in particular? What

was the deal with the no salt? By the way? People people people, if you own some sort of bagel chain? I was at a bagel chain. I won't like throw them under the bus because while there is well there's life there's hope. Right? You can change yeah, don't put salt you know rock rock salt bagel bagel salt, pretzel salt on there everything bagels? Yeah, the hell is that? Everything includes salt. It also includes you know dirt and you know stars and everything. But like everything in bagel sense means the onion crap. The garlic crack the sesame crap. The puppies and salt. Like clearly yes. So if you don't solve your everything bagel,

and do it on both top and bottom of the bagel.

Well, that's interesting. I like to have on everything I like top and bottom. But if I eat a salt bagel, which is what when I was a kid was my favorite bagel. I liked the fact that one side is a little less salty.

I want some I think for everything though. Top and bottom. But I don't understand. I just don't understand the Montreal bagel thing. No salt. Although I will say bizarrely probably my favorite bagel in New York City is a Montreal bagel that made in New York City. Well, they're flaxseed bagels a lot. They add salt. They add salt, but they cook it like in the wood oven. Like in Montreal, which I think it's a good combo.

Yeah, I have never eaten a bagel in Montreal. I haven't been in probably 20 years. I didn't have bagels last time I was there. I was Montreal. How was the food?

Food was amazing. Man. Food is absolute amazing. And we arrived at this really short to like four weeks season was very called the Camrys Berry. And if you heard about this, what's it related to? It looks like a blueberry but the inside doesn't look like a blueberry. It's sort of a long elongated blueberry and the inside has like a lot of little small seeds in it. And it tastes like a blueberry but crossed with like a Blackberry and a raspberry. And it's really so

a blueberry is natural Berry. And a raspberry is a multiple achiness. So yes, which,

but I'm telling you that but I can tell you that it tastes like both that and the other thing even though they're both not berries kid you're

a punk. Yeah, we're gonna make it to know my

bear. That was the day that Peter walked in on you. Oh

specify the single best

single best day nearly peed herself.

If people who have actually listened to God help you, but people who have listened to like all of the episodes of this show, have heard this story. Probably at least twice. I'll give you the very quick synopsis. We're going up to give a talk that three of us museum related talk. And all the way up. Peter Kim, Dave. Peter Kim. Yeah, Peter Kim is in the back. Like trying to say he's on an important call to a newspaper. They have the Pennysaver I'm just building it up. So the Stasi and I started making fun of him for doing this long interview they use real bent about with with the Pennysaver, which is like, you know, like just on paper. Irrelevant? No, no, I was building it up. Then Pierre cam buys an egg salad sandwich at a gas station, a fine choice and thought that the green was somehow Green Eggs and Ham food coloring instead of the mold, the basics of eating, eating on the way out, but he's like what you don't

like but if it tastes good, I'll eat it. Hold up.

nochmals and then, and not at a gas station. They're like, Well, we found this one in the bathroom. So we restocked it. Anyway. So then then we go up there and like I'm real tired for whatever reason you're sharing a room. You're not sharing. And certainly so I go in and I think the doors automatically closing I need to hit the bathroom because of course I'm driving. So I go in there and my door does not automatically close. Anastasia and Peter tried to come up. I don't know what the hell the luggage is. Yeah. So I'm like, I so I'm like, but I had both doors open because I ran into the bathroom and the doors open. And so like they come into the thing. And then like, and I can see there's a mirror. It's like you can see it's almost like so I'm like, I'm like put the put the suitcase and I closed the door and Peter here's close.

What did he say? I said, and he said closer? No.

Door and I think closer. We were walking down the hallway up to your room. We're getting into the band your luggage or walking up to your room. his hotel room. Door is all the way through like are you okay, Dave? Like it's not normal to have your hotel. door wide open

there was a moment we locked eyes.

And then and then later that evening, Peter was in such a bad state of mind. That's when he crushed those kids at that dinner. Oh no.

Never bring it up.

On the floor in the hallway.

Just I've never seen her so happy. She is

so happy. Smiling like crazy. All right, Brandon

Brandon writes in. I recently received a bottle of amylase monitors pantry to use with my spins or whoever I'm having a hard time finding recipes and procedures online or in the manual. Could you break down a few of her favorite applications? Thanks, Brandon. No, I have not yet figured out the best thing. Look, here's the problem like with pectin X enzymes. There are multiple different pectinase enzymes, but we've pretty much honed in on the most kind of broad spectrum one that does kind of what we need inspect the next Ultra SPL, usually with amylase and I'll take a look at Modernist Cuisine modernist website to see which specific one they're carrying. But the the enzymes that you're using for breaking down amylases are wide different range of one. So there's the ones that are typically just used. There's alpha and beta amylase, that are used in brewing. And they take they do different things, right. So in pectin extra to kind of just chopping pectin up, but even the standard brewing ones, some enzymes cut in the middle of a starch molecule, and some start on the ends and break themselves, break it down in units, they function in different ways. But it's even further complicated by the fact that the assumption with brewing enzymes is that all the starch has been cooked, right? So you're boiling a sorry, you're, you're cooking the starch off, and then and then converting it. So when you're doing like potatoes or anything like this, when you're Brut, when you're making like vodka or whatnot, you cook the starch, then the amylase enzymes can attack the starch, right? They can't beforehand. So there's all different kinds of amylases that are used at different points, they have different tolerances to heat, different requirements for heat, some of them you need to heat up. So I don't yet have a good recipe and I have a bunch of different enzymes I'm working with we're working on it. I don't yet have a good recipe for take this potato, add this enzyme do this and it will go clear. First before I even worry about that, what I'd like to be able to do is not the starch out of let's say, Oh, I have an apple, but it's got a little starch in it. How do I knock it out? I have carrot juice. It's got a little starch in it. How do I knock it out? I've got you know, pick your product that has a little starch bananas other than Cavendish that aren't right. That are right there are there are for instance, very ripe bananas that still have a fairly high starch content and won't clarify, but because there are different varieties you just retain residual starch. How do you clarify I don't know yet. I'm working on it. But as soon as I know, I will tell you and hopefully I can work on it. You know more after the bar is up and running. John writes in Hello cooking issues team. Greetings and sending my love from Manila Philippines. I'm a new fan and listener. Listening my way up starting from the first episode. I'm currently on episode 10. So apologies if this question has been asked, man, do you have a long nasty road to hoe my friend? Imagine

that's like that's like the opposite of having a presence open. Yeah, all these new episodes. Yeah, like,

it's like it's like a punishment. I once did an art piece where it was a remote control. And people controlled hitting me in the face with this machine and I was trying to box it and hit buttons to disable it. So that's how I would win. So you were just having a remote control pad. And you were trying to strike me a physical human being with this kind of like you know, punching robot. And then I would have to like be able to go in and punch it to disable it before you hit me in the face so hard that I quit that was how it worked. And it was mean it was like a long pipe with like a like a piece of styrofoam on the end of it. That would spin around it's hit me in the face and then a jab thing right? Where the hell am I going with this? I don't know.

I don't know I'm road to hoe watching episode 10 So this

is like that. It's like It's like it's like you know hooking yourself up to the punching machine right you keep going. Why did I do that? Why did

or like the video you made of yourself with the elf suit? Yeah, but I

wasn't actually getting hit there. I just jumped into a pillow and green screen myself getting woodchips I don't know if you know this, Peter, but I did not actually jump into a wood chipper. That was a cartoon woodchipper for those that don't know you can look I have it on posted somewhere on the YouTubes it's called what I'm thinking about and it's an old video I did I need to get one with better sound quality and better picture I found that one anyway with that was just basically if you want to know what's going through my head at any one time when I'm staring off in the distance and have kind of a vacant semi smile on my face. It's just this image of of a band playing kind of a repetitive tune and me jumping into a wood chipper over and over and over and over and over again. damage damage anyway. So Manila Philippines.

Oh, nice. Goodbye fine. Nice This is Dave said

this is completely terrifying. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me.

Saturday is gonna be at the bar. Jack

Tran Jack Inslee. Jackie molecules coming to the bar.

Hey, what's up? This is Jack Inslee.

Wow. Quick on the board, my friend. I like that. Hey. So I'm interested in making it back to John in Manila. I'm interested in making a rum cocktail with coconut milk flavored a gelato. Ideally, it would be something like a pina colada. Now I have the pina colada song going through my dad kit.

If you like pina coladas, yes.

Getting done Don't Don't do it don't do it.

Those songs that you think about like you do all the other stupid songs

no only when someone says pina colada which people don't say to know like the story behind it and getting caught in the rain know like how they eventually ended up together. Oh Do they know I don't know that I don't know the whole I don't know thing I just know something

they put an ad out and then they realized that it was husband and wife. Say man

isn't the Stasi talking to me about a story song? Yeah, well, you know what? I I must be having a stroke. Like I damaged my neck the other day actually.

I don't conscious on the floor of exists Yeah,

I'm in Westworld. I'm like is this real? Is this is this the future? Is this the past? Like you know I don't have feeling in my right arm and the Stasi is talking about a story song like life life as I know it is not the same anyway. Street Fight man. You just hit G eight, if you like to come down. Yeah, days on the board going going on fire on the board. Oh, shorty fire burning on the dance floor. I'm making it Okay. Last one. So it's putting gelato in a blender and then shaking it with the juice and booze. The best way to prepare it texture wise. No, just add everything to the dang blender. Why are you blending the gelato and then shaking it just put the whole Migaila into the blender and you're gonna have a blender at the bar anyway, right? Just put the whole sucker in the blender and do it right. Do it. They think sighs Yeah. I do like smoothie drinks like like a milkshake. He drinks. Here's I'm gonna say about this.

You're gonna Harold McGee. Me.

What? Okay, Jesus. All right. What are we gonna say stuff? Go ahead. Sure. Go ahead. Go ahead. Do for real. Here's the problem.

Here's a really like your italiana Eliana.

Oh, that's good, but I'll talk about that. So is putting the gelato in a blender and then shaking with the juice and booze. The best way to prepare it? Will adding saline solution or rock salt change the texture? Yeah, because if you had that, it'll be real salty. But it'll also melt faster. If you had enough any other hazards. I have not thought of John, here's what I would do. Look, if you're going to make a cocktail, you're going to destroy the texture of the gelato. I'm assuming you're not talking about a float. Right? I'm assuming the John's not talking about a float. He's talking about an integrated mixture. When you add alcohol to gelato, or ice cream or whatever, like let's say, let's say you were doing like the classic Bailey's milkshake, which you know, that's what Peter doesn't Peter puts down every night to get himself to bed, feeds the baby the milk and then pounds a giant Bailey milkshake directly out of the blender pitcher. Anyway, that is nice. Yeah, my God, he's like Bailey's anyway. So like, if you the problem with adding too much alcohol to ice cream is it melted ferociously fast, much faster than adding milk, so you can't use a milkshake recipe and do the same thing because the alcohol is going to drastically lower the freeze point of your mixture. So you can, it's better in a lot of ways to if you're going to freeze it anyway, as Anastasia says, the way that we make we make our stuff is to just use gelato base, mix in your alcohol freeze that as solid as it gets in a bag and then whiz it in the blender real quick. That's going to be your best texture. But if you actually want it to be a milkshake II texture, you're going to have to use a real low alcohol content. Because otherwise you're just going to melt ferociously quickly.

Which is why I always look askance at boozy ice cream.

And why you just turn to a milkshake and drink it or just eat the ice cream. And then just drink some booze. Eat the ice cream and drink some booze. Yeah, okay, good. Do

you like a root beer float?

I like a root beer float. The problem is is like how much foaming it is. It's hard. It's easy at home. But in a restaurant scenario, remember we used to do remember, we were there when we did the we did the balsamic soda fig ice cream. Float has a real good tasting real good. People like make the potato ice cream at the bar. So already we have I mean like I could do it as a one off or like when we're doing like fun stuff. I could do it but you know? Well, the Stasi is gonna think about this. February. Do you ask them to say no, I'll

be better next week. Okay, so

Natasha, Sarah. Sarah is a touring musician wants to know about I'll tell her this. She had a question about going to culinary school and being a vegetarian. So for those of you that don't know when you go to cooking school, you have to cook a lot of stuff right? And they teach you to cook meat and and you know, all this other stuff. And yeah, you are tasting a lot of stuff. We had vegetarians who We're in, you know, pescatarians vegetarians and people who have gluten allergies. And you know, there's a variety of people who have different dietary strictures. And yeah, so any cooking school worth its salt will make accommodations for you, based on your dietary restrictions, the only thing I will say is, is they might be better or worse at it. So it might more or less harm your education, right. So if you, if they're a good school, they will figure out a way to have you have the same kind of experience, especially if you can cook it right if you if you don't mind cooking it, but just won't eat it. So I definitely say you can go do that. But just make her talk to him about it. Be very frank, and make sure that they're going to be honest with you about how your experience will be different from the rest of the people's experience. But if you're never going to cook meat again, because you're not going to you're going to be a vegetarian special, then it doesn't really much matter how good you get to cooking meat, although cooking meat is good practice and cook as one of the things that it's cooked because there are other you know, the cooking school might not cook other meat like things enough to give you the experience for cooking them other other protein based things but I would just have a firm talk your other question about dealing with sexism in the kitchen. Anastasia said she will think more about it. And we'll talk about it more next week. I hope also next week to finally get in touch with Chris Young about the modernist, the ChefSteps pickling question that we didn't get to from two weeks ago, and more about backyard cooking and wok stations and tandoors next week on and Japanese knives from Ross on cooking issues.

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