Hello, everybody, and welcome to a brand new series on heritage radio network called the culinary call sheet where we give a peek into the back kitchen of culinary media. I'm your host, April Jones,

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Absolutely what was once niche or a little silly, as I'm sure you remember, Darren, when we started out, this man has now become such a massive playing field for so many creatives using food as the medium.

It's something that has driven us professionally and personally, for so many years. What excites me the most about this show is that we're going to sit down with some of the industry leaders to hear how they made it and what drew them into this industry.

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We'll be covering everything from how to style your food, to how to license IP, to developing your own ideas, and some tips from the masters of how to host your own show.

Yeah, it's a little bit of conversation, how to and how do you do the things that you do in color media, which I'm so excited about? I love so many of the guests that are coming on this season. We have talent from Food Network from Vice media eater refinery 29,

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Hello, and welcome to cookie issues. This is Dave Arnold, your host of cooking issues coming to you live from my house in the Lower East Side. We got a big show for you today. It's the 10th anniversary special even though it was actually our 10th anniversary like two and a half weeks ago but we're so disorganized here that we just can't get stuff done on time as he will see for the rest of the show. joined as usual with Anastasia the hammer Lopez in Stamford, Connecticut. How are you? It's great. Why don't you give me some 10th anniversary vibes does

Happy anniversary.

Yeah, you sound a sound and sound overjoyed was joy to be here. What?

I always forget our anniversary,

what does it have to do with anything? Again, nobody cares about anything happens outside of the 45 minute window of the show. Everything else is just it's just noise. You know what I mean? Anyway, we got we got John from Booker and DAX hanging in Murray Hill. How you doing? Not too bad. Thank you. Of course we got Matt in in his booth in Brooklyn somewhere. I'm assuming you haven't gone back to Rhode Island.

But I'm actually closer to I'm in Alexandria, Virginia right now close to Jackie molecules, I assume. All right.

Well, and for our two special guests we have today, the very first man in the booth, Jackie molecule. How're you doing?

I'm great.

Listen, Jack, Jack, of course, you know, professional recording. personage has a real studio mic that he's calling in on so even though he's you know, doing this out of the kindness of his own heart. He's gonna sound the best of all of us. How you doing?

I have a reputation to uphold, you know?

Yeah, you do sound amazing on that microphone so smooth.

You sound great too. It's almost like being in Bushwick. You know, it was never really in the same room as you guys. Anyway, I was always in the booth. So it's not that different.

Well, I guess but you had that like glass that plexiglass That's a window that you could look into, you know? Yeah, it's true knock on the window, and it's things were getting out of hand. How did you come about? How did you come up with? How did we end up calling you Jackie molecules? How did that end up happening?

Oh, that's uh, you don't remember that story. It's so good. I don't want to, I don't want to trash the sponsor. But there was a sponsor that offered to support the show. And they had the word molecular in their name. And you were like, Yeah, I'm not not reading that. You're like, if you want to read it, you can read it. You can be Jackie molecules. Oh, I just cursed. I'm sorry.

He doesn't want to be a family show. But whatever.

I'm the worst. I'm sorry. I come I come from a different time. It will also in

Washington DC where Why do you want to plug here? You want to plug what you're doing down there?

Well, I'm not doing much of anything right now. Because the space in which full service radio exists is temporarily closed. But I do have a radio network called Full Service radio. And yeah, there's plenty of good stuff to check out there.

Are you doing are you doing? You're not doing it? From people's houses. You're like just on a hiatus? Or it's just the what's going

mostly a hiatus? Some things are continuing. I'm doing a music show every week. Still, but yeah, yeah. It's pretty calm up cooking most of the time. What do you cook, what do you cook cooking through the puck puck book?

Oh, nice. I just saw Andy Ricker a couple days ago.

No, it's a great book. Yeah, making trips to Falls Church and getting all the ingredients and it's a blast.

Nice, nice. And our other by the way, that they were a mismatched sponsor for us because, you know, they're there they through the word molecular for those of you I haven't gone on this rant in a long time, because nobody has talked about this in a long time. But everyone used to call everything molecular molecular gastronomy, molecular de beggary, molecular, you know, skullduggery, whatever it was. And I just used to get so ticked off by it. And I would just like immediately explode and then the sponsor came in and was like, they were called molecular something. And I said, I was like, you understand that I can't say the name of your company without also making fun of it. And yes, Jack correct me if I'm wrong, they were like, we're okay with it. We're okay with it. But then when they realized I was actually going to do it every single time yeah, basically, they finally they finally

also, I think that's why I did the sponsor read and thus Jackie molecules was born. Yeah, sweet. And I still there are still moments I mean, not now obviously. But if I'm traveling I go to bars and somehow it comes up to your Jackie molecules what? It's stuck.

The legend the molecules, which is so funny, because I can't imagine you like chilling with a whole ton of hydrocolloid. It's just not your jam. Yeah. It's not my thing, man. No, anyway. And special guests, and this one I know a lot of people have been waiting for and she's time limited. Right time limited. We have life coach, friend of the show. Currently from Tulum, Mexico, broadcasting out of some sort of jungle paradise. Claire Sellars, how you doing?

Hi. Oh my gosh, I'm so good. I'm so happy to be here. And I just can't believe it's been 10 years. I mean, it feels like it was it feels like 100 I remember when when stop the hammer first started doing this. Why aren't you guys doing it? Like in a weird place?

Same place?

Yes, same place.

Well, it feels like it's been a really long time. And I've loved being part of it. Excited to celebrate you all today.

Well, you know, Claire has a special skill of being able to instantly set me off. I don't know what it is about you

either. So it must have been a past life situation or something

but yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't really understand it. But I do know this. I know that. Like the last time clear was on which was Miss Das. How long ago? Is that?

How bad a couple months ago?

Yeah. I went off, you know, pretty that one on this air right now.

It was it was hard to get me back on after

that. That's what I'm saying is I heard is that and you got to understand people that like, once I'm on a roll. It's like it's like a snowball. It just gets worse and worse and worse as it goes down the hill doesn't get better. I don't like I don't suddenly moderate myself as I'm rolling down the hill, right?

Yeah, that was bad. That was clear and I had a bad friendship for

Yeah, I was. That was top three maddest I've ever been at you hands down. On number two, they all happen in a very concentrated period. So staff must have been on bad behavior during that time.

Well, I mean, duh. Wow. But yeah, well, I mean, the real problem with that one clear and you guys will have to go look this up because again, we're not going to play it on the air. Is that the boondock blur? Rebecca, Rebecca The Boondock blur our flat extraordinaire for Booker and DAX. She, like was on my side. I think that's what tipped it to the evil zone for you.

Huh? Yeah,

that's not what we're here to talk about today. Clear? No. No.

No, not love, I'm sure. Neva Are we here to talk about machetes?

I believe that you are here today to discuss the VA Jedi Chronicles this division. The Jedi Chronicles those of you that don't know what a Jedi is. It is a spiralizer it is a it's something

and handheld.

You jam your you jam your hard vegetable sticks into the Wii jetty. Twist them off and they get spiralized

zero calories. zoodles is the result.

Okay, so somehow, Claire starts calling in with the jetty stuff. And then we just listened to just listen to the clip or now let's just listen to this. Listen to the Jedi number one. Oh my gosh. My friend has got a Jedi that is the grossest word you've ever seen. Really? Ever? It is yes. Yeah. Why don't you describe to

Vegas spiralizer for

for vegetables. I want to

only squash though like can't really

know me why me like squash including like zucchini. Yeah, yeah,

that's all you make like veggie pastas and stuff like that. Yeah.

What kind of non English speaker was like the Jedi? That's a good name. The Jedi? Jack would you ever like knowingly eat something that came out of the Jedi?

I'm not gonna answer that question. Why not answer that question. Moving on Yeah,

always question Jack. Well,

look what about Daikon dichotomy? Good in that thing but not not Kobe

when stupid thing is supposed to be like healthy for you. But all the rest of you say like use a machete and then fry noodles. And then

I hate any I hate anything. But it's yeah. Wow, the Jedi use threw me for a loop. It threw me for a loop. I'll tell you what, I don't like it. Here's what Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, your spaghetti squash. It Right. When I first became aware of spaghetti squash, because that's when I first became aware of anything because that's, you know, I was born in 71. So what they would people would do, and by people I mean my mom who's a great cook, great cook. And I actually just went to her like, I went to her anyway, her she just got honored recently because she started the pediatric heart transplant program at Columbia University. By the way, I did not realize this did the first pediatric cardiac transplant successful anywhere I think credible geologist Look, here's the thing, every one of us for any surgeons that might be listening, you're not going to take an insult. It's everyone's like, Oh, it's two surgeons, the surgeon Listen, the surgeon comes in, they cut the heart out. They put the new heart in they they sew it back together and then they're done. Like the the care beforehand and afterwards, right? Is there going to be whether or not this person lives for a long time or doesn't? You know what I'm saying? morphogenic ever. She's cardiologists, surgeons, a surgeon cardiologist, the cardiologist

that the secret you can't listen to your own evangelists.

My point is spaghetti squash so my mom used to make the spaghetti squash but the problem is spaghetti squash can be delicious. If you steam the sucker right or whatever rose wherever, shred it into its little noodle. It's whatever you call those things. And then like butter, like lots of butter and other stuff, maybe some crunchy stuff in you know it's not good as it's not freaking spaghetti. You don't put a can of or a jar of pasta sauce into the spaghetti squash. That's why they shouldn't call it this. You know what I mean?

Squash carbon.

It's gross. It's gross. It tastes like spaghetti. Would you go back to like to go back to what Jack was saying earlier. One of the few things I learned about making pasta I may have made a lot lot lot of it but you know never I became very good at it was that you could add anything to it to add color and it doesn't change the flavor. So you know originally I would care what I added to it to an event I'm like ketchup, whatever. I want to be red on the dump a bunch of ketchup because it doesn't matter pot like the vast majority of the ingredients is the flower and there you're not gonna get the flavor out if it's all left in a greased us Yeah, yeah. The the wine Santa.

No

this is very, very confusing to hear ourselves talk about ourselves over ourselves.

Yes, yeah, but you know

it's like it's like Mystery Science Theater except it's you in the movie as well.

Well yeah no except Mystery Science Theater Mystery Science Theater. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

It's fine

it's like infinite regression of mystery science it's clear was not satisfied with my and now that I listened to it I can see why not satisfied with my clear non response to the question of what to do with her via Jetty so she called back in for the jetty Chronicles number two, which is actually the more important one and I'm not able to go on tangents here because here it is a back and forth on the phone with Claire about her of the Jedi Should we listen to absolutely true pay off?

hate to have to say this but I have a caller on the line who's upset with the way you treated her for Jedi oh my goodness

greatest it's the greatest thing that's ever happened.

Dave I was listening a couple of weeks ago and I heard you were talking badly about the VA Jetty

just the name the name The name but you don't trust the noodle the product? No you don't trust

the product. You said that noodle

dock you said that you didn't trust the product?

We were talking about vegetable

noodle Yeah, it's not I think it's could be an interesting I think it could be an interesting look. I mean, I think like shredded. Like like Daikon shreds and strips are delicious. Right? Yeah. Many shredded shredded or looked strips noodle Ira live spiralize oh my gosh, you know what? All right. All right. And so you have this you have a you have a vested stake in the individuality device or more just a love for it. I have a What are you like a part of the majority corporation or do you just have just just how I

just I got one because I'm you know, trying to cut back on the car and it changed my life. I mean, you can you can use it for everything like the Jedi carbonara, the Jedi and meatballs. I mean, it's like

you just say the Jedi and meatballs

I mean, it's amazing. You can do the Jedi fritters once they kill

themselves you ever done like sausage and machete sausage in the gravy with the machete and here's a here's a Okay, what's your favorite things to get to the jetty is or spiralised you would say what are your favorite things to to spiralize in the jetty?

Well, I pretty much exclusively spiralized zucchini, green and yellow variety. never really done anything else. I don't I think that you know, it has to be a little bit soft. I think that like a potato or a carrot would be a little too much for the spiralizer to you know,

how big is the opening today. Jetty avec is the alternate to it like what? What size of a veg? Can you stick into that thing?

I mean, like zucchini size, you could do a cucumber, you could do like a cold cucumber salad.

Or you could put a cucumber All right. All right. Hold on. Here's my question.

Feminists send you one for your birthday.

All right, well, we'll play around with

you experiment with it. And then you know, I'll call back in and we can go from there.

That's a fair deal. That's a fair deal. All right, we'll do they haven't busted out a lot of like, we haven't done a lot of side by sides or like, you know, a culinary test in the past year or so because of being you know, focused more on bar and the cookbook and everything in the series all, but we will definitely reopen our testing our testing phase of our career with the Jedi. I look forward to it. Thanks.

Thank you. And I'll say that the series on the Jedi are a great match.

We'll test it for you. When you send it send your favorite things that you'd like to do.

Got okay. I would like to note that. Let's remember, Claire likes a slightly soft thing to get shoved into her vagina. Yeah, that's my takeaway. She likes like, you know if it's too hard it doesn't really hurt the machete you gotta go with a slightly softer like zucchini. This is the craziest thing ever. Claire, how much did you realize what you were saying as you were saying it?

Well now that I listened back and like why is it such a perm?

Oh, because it was such a long way to get there. Right? Like it was so hidden the entire studio really could barely speak because it was so I

to answer your question. I didn't I don't think I realized that. I've never heard it. I never listened to these shows after lunchtime on them. And go ahead. What? So I never we never realized. I mean, yeah, it's highly sexual, but I don't think I realized that at the time.

So when you

I feel a little bit uncomfortable listening to that back.

When you hear when you saw the word the jetty and that you were talking about shoving cucumbers and zucchinis into it. Really nothing popped into your head.

I mean, I'm sure something did. But I don't think to do that to the degree that I was articulating. At the time.

I forgotten about the slightly soft and the Stasi Have you forgotten to

obviously it was like that was a Jedi? Yes, I did. I'm a woman of my word everybody.

And I believe there was a Jedi Chronicles Part Three at some point where when we spent the entire time talking about quote unquote things you could shove into the Jedi Yeah, I believe was the terminology that we used

work Claire has to go Claire plug your stuff.

I go ahead and plug away plug away.

Well, as you all know, if you're following me on Instagram at Claire underscore Penelope, I am a life and career coach and I help people find more fulfilling and meaningful work and create more freedom in their lives.

So you say you help people choose what the right things to stick into their virginity is?

That's actually not part of my practice.

Have you considered like some sort of like the Jedi consulting like that how to get good results out of your VA Jedi?

No, but I mean after this, I feel like maybe that's something I should look into.

How to love and care for your own Jedi.

No, but it's I've read that's a great suggestion. Dave. I appreciate that. Yeah. flume is so amazing. It's been Yeah, it's just like really nice to be in paradise and relaxing and yeah. Very, very grateful.

Hey clear. Here's something I might like for entirely different reasons. You're in July, tipped well so you can get the melipona Honey, that's where it's from. So they in fact right outside of two of them. I've never been there but I've seen the pictures and wish I was there. There is a shop like a building that is a the tofu kind of honey shop and inside of that you can get the melipona honey and melipona honey is a is a stingless honeybee there's actually less sugar it's slightly less sweet than American honey so American well the rest of the world's honey not America the rest of the world's honey is about 82% Sugar and melipona honey is somewhere like 70 Something so a little more than than maple syrup, but it's made by these tiny stingless bees that are you know becoming endangered it's but people think it has health and medicinal qualities and you know I don't care or agree with any of that stuff. But I love the taste of it and you can really only get it where you are

she went to go get some

wow that's no no Dave Do you know what's so crazy? I'm not even kidding you right now I'm I'm gonna send you as a picture I'm looking at it sign it says Did you know these bees are called melipona and do not sting they are not harmful. There are also known as the mind bees, they were raised by the mind the honey they produces rich and uses medical treatment in the mind communities. There's a sign right here and my friend got wait she missed out apparently stung by one of those but she didn't get stung by a bee the other day. But anyway, that kind of just sourced that honey for you.

Oh, well. Here's the thing. Why don't you know what, here's what I want you to do since you're down there clear? Yes, you're here's what you should do is is look on eBay in the United States and see how much people are charging for that. And then like that's it that's your that's your money now.

Wait, that's your money. We're actually I'm very interested. Maybe we could partner together.

Gotta be careful. I don't want to exploit that. Like, here's the thing. I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who used to smuggle in that stuff. But we don't want to be in a in a keen wha situation where like, you know, all of a sudden no one who has, you know, culturally dependent on this honey for centuries can't afford it anymore because some jerk weed in San Francisco or New York wants to buy it all you know what I mean?

Oh, no, we wouldn't we would do it ethically, for sure. Let me do some research, talk to some people. And then we can definitely recruit. I love the idea. It's done. It would be fun for us to do together to do that. Do you know the very first business that Anastasia ever started with actually with me,

you tell? Well, it's

called borrowed horses. And it was we thought the idea because I have photos. So I got the idea. We got the idea because we were working in Switzerland where we met in case you don't know our origin story, I'm sure we talked about before we met working in Switzerland. And we found we were cooking for like 150 Oranges children at this camp. And we saw we were going on a walk one day and we saw this field and there were all these horses in the field and I'm somewhat accomplished equestrian today. And so I just like hopped the fence and started riding these horses. And this donkey I like took all these pictures. She never rode them. It was just like the most magical situation ever. And so then a few weeks later, we were on the beach in the south of France and on the back of a baguette. We wrote out our business plan for this like food experience company called borrowed horses. And we actually found the email the other like a few weeks ago and the stuff that we've found the menu is just like shameful like, it felt like it was from the 90s it was so like not cool anymore.

But that was beat beat and goat cheese salad while you steal somebody's horse. You know the horse thieves.

Well, I made friends with the farmer after friend. It's hard to get mad at me. You're the only person I actually

can't be true. Literally.

I honestly can't think of the last time anyone was mad at me except you. Yeah,

well, I'm not even to talk about it. But okay, staff gets mad at me. Well, let's not forget me Okay, okay, I'm not going to bring up the Count Chocula I won't bring up the Count Chocula there'll be no mention.

Yeah, but with cash I freaking thought her five boxes of Count Chocula to replace the half Hi guy eight. Listen, I still don't understand that

when you punch yourself in the face it doesn't mean you didn't punch that other person in the face first. I don't blow their anger over and then you do something to make up for it doesn't actually make up for it and starts Am I right on this

so illogical

Okay

listen, the Stasi is building up all yours. She's like, it's going to be kind of tricky lead time it's going to be Count Chocula time and then like she she buys the Count Chocula she like puts flowers around it she makes like, you know like, like in that movie midsummer like the flower garland around it and people getting murdered all around her but the couch Oculus and its own cabinet. Like Count Dracula. She comes back and desecrated suede but with face cream. But

can I also just I don't even like remember how this came. Just for the sake of painting the full picture for the audience here since I know they typically do side with me. I was actually on a train at three o'clock in the morning from New York City to Connecticut to go be with my friend, my dear friend Miss dasya to go be with her so that I could be present or in the early morning to help her set up for our Halloween party.

That's an interesting lie to tell you know that.

Yeah, I did need a snack.

You know, the train stopped before three what Amtrak Metro North doesn't,

it was literally like it was literally the middle of the night and I was on a train in Natick on the way to Connecticut. And I took a cab whatever.

Morning so I

just sit with that. No, you know when you're when you're thinking about the situation, just sit with

that. I'll see what

Yeah, because I mean I can already tell by your energy that you feel bad. So I think

Thank you Claire for coming on

I really miss you so much and yeah, it's just always so nice to be on the show and to be with you guys and you know to connect in this way

every show again you can you're welcome back anytime Claire

gave I love that we're ending on such a high and special note.

Get a high note is not I never want to speak to you again. A high note is you're welcome to come back on the show that I'll take.

Like, I'll come back next week.

You can't get a plane over here, but I mean, on this kind of stuff. Yeah. Well, anyway, so next time, though, you know, come up with something fresh to set me off. I'm sure it'll be easy for you. Because you have Well,

I actually I'm just gonna tee that up right now because I've been doing something very interesting called food combining. Have you ever heard of that?

No, go ahead.

It's where and stop stop most offices. I did a 22 day detox and part of it is doing food. I did again, I did a 22 day like food. Detox so what

were you seeing from

all the bad things that we eat? So free salt salt, oil sugar free SOS free

you know your body doesn't function without salt. You know that right? Actually, no, you can't get your ion channels going without salt. Yeah.

There's not a there's not a food in the world that doesn't have some level of sodium in it. That's like a scientific fact.

Do you have salt and do high blood pressure?

No, but I take iodine supplements.

Why? Because you don't use salt.

Well, I've started to use salt said Are you familiar with

the with the three six mafia song in which they eat so many shrimp they get iodine poisoning. And then if you go research that the number of pounds of shrimp required to get iodine poisoning is like 50 or 60 pounds of shrimp in one sitting. Love that.

That's a song.

It is and it is the greatest. It's the greatest blimp shrimp rhyme couplet. I think that has ever been sung by any group ever. Wow, keep them the Goodyear blimp. We eat so many shrimp and notice they didn't end on the shrimp. They built the rhyme into the next line. Keep the dope beans higher than the Goodyear Blimp read so many shrimp. We get iodine poisoning and amazing use of the correct plural. Shrimp and not shrimps.

Yeah, well, I think we all know it. I think we all know that shrimp is not a word.

What shrimps I like in but when I'm by myself I will say shrimps. Yeah, me too.

Is that even a word though?

I mean, I don't know. I won't say it in public. In public. I know it's shrimp but to myself. I'm like shrimps. What are you gonna have tonight? Shrimps? I mean, I like shrimp.

You know, there's, there's, I just saw there's a British women's wear clothing design brand called shrimps. Of course, there is a shrimp stock calm with free, free, free plug for them. Clear. Oh, man,

I don't want to get into this detox because I'm gonna lose my mind the whole time. I'm vibrating so fast. And I could play the flash on TV right now. You know, I hate the idea of detoxing. And I want to I want to I want to write a whole book on retox Singh. Because I think that we all need to retox

up. Right? Well, I really like to see that up for you.

It's not like it's not like, whatever I don't I'm not gonna get into but let me ask you this. What is your favorite trips? Preparation?

Like, very simple with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic dot raw one minute eat now. Okay,

with olive oil. Show on show off head on half off everything. Okay,

for sure. Okay, I really do have to run but I'm definitely going to you know, that's disgust that's like,

you've been to Spain. You've never had the awesome head on trip where you rip the head off and suck on the head.

I do it if it's necessary, but not fight. Because I enjoy it.

Oh my god. Stars. What do you think about sucking the head of the shrimp?

I'm gonna leave you guys on that note, Dave. I love you so much. It's such an honor to be here for yalls anniversary. And I'm so excited that Dave and I are, you know, back in cahoots and yeah excited to continue the journey for another 10 Let's do it. Amen to that status. All right, sending you all love and blessings from Tea Room.

By Claire i by Claire I Know What You Did day by the way, you you career coach Claire about the honey plan. Oh my God, you've like you've become the master. See that? See that? I don't even think she realized what was happening. You served her.

You know, I like to I like to slip around, slip around. I take the I take the back road around there anyway. All right. So DB Nichols wrote in Matt McGowan. One of my cooks gave me the buttons of the sandwich line, and I was prepared with a capital P because of all of our screaming about sandwiches. Thanks for the memories. We're not gonna get into the sandwich debate. Correct. Stas. Right. Yeah. Somebody else also said that Sergio Turin wrote in and said, favorite moment is is me giving a dictionary description of a sandwich and defending it with lawyers arguments. Okay, listen, listen. Listen. Okay, okay. Okay, I gotta calm down here. Let's let's just let's look at this from a number of different perspectives. Okay. Define sandwich Don.

I believe a sandwich involves two things of starch. Oh, rice, something in between. Wait

Whoa, let's squish rice are

arranged horizontally. I think you can make things with rice crackers.

So no, no, no, no, that is a no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I

could make a you could make a what is it? A

C'mon rich, rich crackers with peanut butter is that a freaking sandwich?

Is matzah with peanut butter in between the sandwich

you know what an Oreo is a sandwich cookie. Not a sandwich.

The sandwich is an additive as well as a noun.

Sandwich is a category of the way you stack for thought it could be a bad sandwich

no no first of all what you don't want to sandwich is sandwich is made here's sandwich is with blue red, blue Red Bull red.

What is that once again? I go I go to the moths example then it is the the bread of suffering and as the you know, are you going to deny the Jews their bread when they're running away from the Egyptians?

Two pieces of pizza flipped on themselves? Are they a freaking sandwich?

Only if there's something in between but it's not pizza is a calzone sandwich. No, because it's round. It's like it's like a burrito.

Burrito. Definitely not a freaking sandwich.

Much like a wrap Oh zone.

case you do not then because it's folded. Okay, here's the question. What about freaking

if if you if you were down to the last slice of bread and you wanted to make your sad grilled cheese, and you folded that last piece of bread in half with cheese and you've made it on a griddle? Is that still a grilled cheese? If you

believed in God, you would cut the bread in half rather than

butter even if you were an atheist with like an iota of self respect.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like, but I don't know that this folded thing. For instance, a lobster roll is a sandwich and it's made on a split bun.

Definitely not.

It's a freaking sandwich is a hot dog a sandwich though? Obviously not. I mean, in other words, it is a sandwich but it gets its own category. Right?

He gets its own category. The only the only thing that gets its own categories hamburger

hamburger gets its own freakin category. What's your patty? What's a patty? Mo?

It's a kind of hamburger. Pet.

matter as horizontal versus vertical? And how you actually consume?

How would you? Vertical case did you

know that the hotdog is vertical? Or our long

split the split in the bread is vertical is what you're saying? Exactly. Okay.

So whereas a Italian sausage so

when you when you buy a cracker bundle when you buy a crappy hotdog freaking fun. And you open it too much to toast it because you're one of those people that toast their freakin hot dog buns. Right? And it breaks into two and you hand them that crippled hot dog that falls through the thing? Is it now a freaking sandwich?

No, hold it sideways? No, because if it's fallen through, it's still vertically stacked. It's not horizontal.

But then if you have to like rotate it 90 degrees now. Now you know you have a failure of a hotdog.

So the Oxford Dictionary. What do we think? An item of food consisting of two pieces of bread two pieces with meat cheese or other filling in between them eaten as a white male.

So So would you say

that they know the way in which not a sandwich Oxford English Dictionary world renowned for being crappy when it comes to definitions of food or etymologies related to food or historical time mines related, world renowned for being the worst. Where did he go? Where she go to life to life? The company subway, right? Do they manufacture sandwiches?

A sub is a subcategory of sandwich Yes,

even though they're not split all the way into anymore. Look, in the old days, they would take the knife and they'll go championship Bishop, Bishop Bishop b and rip the V out and then the V would be a pseudo top to it. Now they just slice it in half because they're too inept to use the V slice anymore. And that's why if you get a subway now versus a subway 1520 years ago, it used to be you can eat them without it spraying all over the inside of everything. And now everything sprays everywhere, because

you eat a Subway sandwich that spring everywhere. Because I get lots of

toppings. I enjoyed mayonnaise and mustard. And so like this stuff, like they put it up the end and it freakin extrudes out of the side of the most important thing of sandwich is not the definition. It's the construction the layering that goes into a proper sandwich. It's true.

The worst thing you can do somebody is to Sylar their burrito. Have you ever done this as a joke? No. What is it when you make a burrito for somebody you make him in silos and all the different ingredients go the wrong way

that shows why burrito is a piece of crap. Because it's got too much freaking like I want my rice and beans separately. I want a small object like that I can consume. Burritos eat burrito. First of all, like a burrito is an inferior Chimichanga. Right. And an inferior in short, it's like an inferior it's an inferior product. No.

It's an inferior product.

I agree. Yeah. What do you think I feel inferior to what? Well, like for instance, like it would be better just if you deep fried and turn into a chimichanga. That's true. I would always rather have like two or three tacos than a burrito. or 100% of it. Yeah, I'd rather have chiquitos than a burrito. I'd rather have enchiladas even though it's totally different than a burrito. And I would rather I would rather have case frankly than a burrito. But is it a sandwich case idea. Here's another thing. Like is it's an open face sandwich even though it's called open faced sandwich a sandwich not according to the Oxford English at its

I would say yes, because the normal form is closed and you have to denote that it has been opened.

But it doesn't serve they don't serve it with an extra doughnut

sandwich you have to eat with your hands.

Oh, here's an interesting question when Bill de Blasio would say you can eat anything with a knife and fork pizza. Well, like.

In Denmark, where I usually live, we have like open face sandwiches, which are impossible to eat with your hands. But like literally cactus

is never meant to be a closed sandwich that you may or may not open up smoke is always open. Oh yeah. It's more about isn't always always open. It is the normal form of this morgase is already open. Yeah. So you didn't take a sandwich and open it to make it smaller.

And then if you ask a Danish person, what a smaller abroad is there? Oh, open face sandwiches.

The wild you asked a Danish person that thinks they're just being polite. They're trying to translate it because they all speak English. And they're not worried about the like the nicety the fine points of the language, right. I mean, right. Now we're putting it in putting in for reference for the people. It's gonna it's gonna it's gonna it's going to show up it's gonna show up. Now just in wrote in and said, of the all of the dumb song things that I bust into, by the way, you missed it. Before when before we were alive. I was doing some Dan Fogarty stuff, right. I was doing my Dan Fogarty imitation but Justin's is my favorite is my Bobby Womack 110 story stuff, but I don't even we couldn't find it. We looked for it. And we couldn't find it. Someone I forget who it was one of our listeners. very kindly machine. transcripted everything. But a machine. Yeah, you can search it. John, what's the website? Do you know?

It's tickets just cook cooking issues. transcript.com.

Yeah. All right. But like for instance, and this is now my favorite thing ever. And I can't believe I didn't introduce her as such. This dasya is transcribed by the machine as Miss Tasha the Lopez excellent Miss. Miss Tasha the Lupe

I didn't gotta look at enough of them to know that that's great.

The Lopez and then sometimes it's like Miss Tasha, the Lopez the hammer. Like it's like some series of titles, which I love. You think you could ever go with Miss Tasha Lopez?

No, no.

I mean, you will in the show notes for this show until I forget to stop.

Yeah. Has anyone ever called you, Tasha? No, no, woof. What's the worst of all of the mangling of your name? What's the worst

that Tasha? I don't like Natasha because it's so lazy. And it's as if they don't see the SS. Or they're not even looking at the it's it's crazy. There's no h that stands out. You know, I don't understand. Lazy I have.

I've been in meetings with you, where I will say, hey, Anastasia. And then they will say Natasha, and I'll be like, hey, Anastasia, and then there'll be like, How many times is that happened to us? All right. Oh, A lot, a lot, a lot. A lot. Yeah. It's like because people are no better and I can't say their names or they'll start talking but the a word that Amazon uses and the S word that Apple uses, like one of my gripes they kill John's name, they kill anastasius name and I will sit there I will pronounce it correctly. It will hear what I am saying. Right? And then it will assume that it knows better than I do, and it will mispronounce their name back. I hate it. I hate it. Like John John. I'm like call you know call. pronounce your name correctly for the people. Y'all are John. Yeah. And then in the last name. New All right, John. Neal. Now, will you say that to two okay. When you say that to the s person. She's like, you say it just like that. And she's like calling Jean how I'm like, No, jerk. Anyway. Jerk. Yeah, she's terrible. She's a terrible person. What's the Stasi? Do you have a favorite dumb thing that I sing over and over?