Cooking Issues Transcript

Episode 223: Pressure Cooking, Deep Frying, & Pink Drinks, Oh My!


Hello, everybody, and welcome to a brand new series on heritage radio network called the culinary call sheet where we give a peek into the back kitchen of culinary media. I'm your host, April Jones,

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Hi, this is Joe Campanelli. The host of in the drink. You're listening to heritage Radio Network. broadcasting live from Bushwick, Brooklyn. If you liked this program, visit heritage radio network.org for 1000s more. Hello, and welcome

to cooking issues. This is Dave Arnold, your host of cooking issues coming to you late and live on the heritage radio network from Roberta's pizzeria in where sauce Where's Bucha trailed off at the end. Bushwick, Brooklyn, call your questions to 784972128 That's 718-497-2128 Jack Inslee, our intrepid Jack Kinsley is in Madison, Wisconsin today. What's he doing over there? You

know, he sent me a picture of him with cows. Cows.

Cows. I asked him when he gets back instead we have Liz Hi there very excited to be here. Nice. Well, I'm sorry I'm so freaking late as usual but it means you get an abbreviated first first time engineering with us but hopefully you enjoy and we have Rebecca Hello.

Hello Rebecca reading the chat.

Oh records running the chat. She is Booker and DAX is social media director it sounds like a camp counselor ship. Social Media Director directors

Fine. Are they like something more powerful?

All right, well, stars is calling up last week's questions come up and the

one that you should get to is read it. You know which one it is it's a chickpea do me I didn't know

you said I read it.

Vegan Internet has gotten very excited here over making ring of a chickpea cooking liquid turns out that the liquid from a can of chickpeas which people are calling aquafaba with whipped up like egg whites I'm Previously I've previously made vegan rings, pavlova, etc using Versa whip 600k And this stuff works almost as well. Here's my question. I don't usually buy canned chickpeas, I'd prefer to cook them in my pressure cooker. So far the liquid from my pressure cooker. From my pressure cooker chickpeas hasn't whipped up the same way when I tried it. It only got slightly frothy didn't foam up at all. Any guesses as to why it doesn't work like liquid Rama can Okay?

First of all, I prefer it when you use quip quit. All right. Well, I don't know I looked up on the internet last week or the week before I can't remember. And there is a person I forget their name because I have it on the file from last week. Who was successful in making their own their own, like aquafaba with chickpeas, couple of things I would look out for First of all, I would find this person on the internet whose name I wish I could remember who made their own I think my Google search was something really simple stupid like DIY aquafaba or something like this. They I think we're using cuz I remember from your question that you were you were not getting the consistency that you wanted when it was done. Now remember, you have to let it cool off to see what kind of backs that you're gonna get from any starch that comes out of it to see what the actual texture is going to be. And then I also noticed, you said that if it wasn't the right texture, you boiled it down. Maybe it's maybe you're doing too much boiling. My recollection is the person who was doing it online was cooking it for a relatively short amount of time, like they were soaking overnight. And then they were only doing something like a 15 or 20 minute cook at 15 psi. Now that may be maybe too low. I'm not I'm not sure but they were also probably using less water to do it, but some other things you might want to look into. Because remember, the way that they make canned chickpeas is they soak chickpeas, and then they put them into can with a prescribed amount of water. And then they put them in a retort ie a pressure cooker until they're done. They cook them considerably longer than 15 minutes, I think. But anyway, that's how they're actually made. So you should be able to do it. I wonder whether you're using a different variety of chickpea, they're to me, they're a bunch of different varietals, but they're, you know, the two main varieties are kind of the larger American kind of ones in the smaller ones like Indian style ones. And I think all of the canned ones, and the aquafaba is probably made from the larger ones. Now. I looked up and the aquafaba website, they still haven't, I guess gotten enough money to figure out what the science is behind it. So you know, presumably there's a protein in there that's whipping up, whipping up and presumably also some starch, thickening break breaking out of it. So, you know, perhaps you're being too gentle and they're not getting busted up enough and you're not releasing enough crap into the water. I don't know. But I would look up that person on the web who seems to be able to get because they they they said that they were whipped it up fine because they also don't buy canned chickpeas or anything. Good. Good. I hear a call coming.

We do have a caller. Here you are. I

call her you were on the air. Hey, Dave.

It's Alex from New York, New York. I have a question about deep fryers. Oh, yeah. Love deep fryers. Are countertop deep, deep fryers a waste of time the electric one,

okay. Okay. So waste of time is such a strong term. Right? So I think that like they can often be it really depends on what you're willing to put up with and what you're trying to get out of it. How many people you cook for on a regular basis. About now don't do it? No, okay. No, you don't like so like what I would do. What I do in my deep fryer at in New York City now I took my my big deep fryer my 30 gallon my nice one up to up to Connecticut and I have it outdoors so I'm testing my my years long espoused theory of putting a professional deep fryer outside and by the way so far, good idea by the way people so far good idea. I keep it covered obviously you know drain the oil don't leave it in there eccentric cetera and I only use a stainless steel fryer there at home now late the the issue is the good thing about the countertop fryer is that you can walk away from it. How powerful is your stove? How what how powerful is your range? I have no idea to stock New York City apartments NASA week. So you might be you might be no fence week, you might want to get see here here's the issue right is that the problem with those home fryers is all they're giving you is basic thermostatic control right there they're not really protecting the oil in a way that a professional deep fryer would be like you don't have a cold zone. Once you don't have a cold zone and you're in your you know, you're having an issue where the oil is like cycling too hot and going around and you have burning particles at the bottom of the of the fry bucket, you're automatically you're not going to be in as good a shape as you would be basically in any other circumstance, I would I would get an an induction burner right and use the induction burner as your as your fry kettle because you can kind of set those fairly nicely and you can set them a little bit higher than you want and they'll kick in full blast when it when when they start cooling down or you could just set it with the number actually wouldn't thermostatically controlled because those things unless you have like like the melt or some new thing that can control the induction accurately. The problem with the old induction temperature control things it's based on like a little thing embedded in the surface of the of the of the plate and which is not good for frying because it's too slow. But anyway and induction is nice and fast, you're not going to have problems with a ignition, because you're not using it around an open flame. So it's inherently safer. And the thing is, is you can get a much larger kettle of oil going with one of those things than you can with one of these countertop deep fryers because they're assuming that you want to make like three French fries. And they're also assuming that you know that they're going to get sued left right up down in the middle if they actually provided a fryer that was big enough to accomplish anything kind of reasonable. Remember, when you're frying on a pot in a kitchen, you want to be very careful to not overfill the oil, I have like an astoundingly powerful range. And so I actually do a lot of my deep frying in New York in a walk. But I have a burner that can handle a walk, you know what I'm saying? And so, you know, and the good thing about a walk is that as it starts boiling, and even though it's shallow, as it starts boiling and expanding the walk it's ever an ever larger, so your odds of boil over in a walk or very, very low. And the solids, the Bert crap in a wok is like kind of condensed in kind of a little shallow spot in the bottom. And so I can scrape it out as I'm going it's much harder in a regular pot to try to scrape that stuff out of the bottom. Now, if you also like Asian cooking, and you know you're gonna live in in New York City apartment for a long time and you have your kitchen near a window, you might want to go invest in an actual wok burner, that induction wok burner. I've never personally used one but I've heard that they're freaking sick, but they're expensive. And the other trick is, is you might need 220 I think almost all of them are 220 cars, they're strictly Pro, but they throw up very little heat for the amount of power that they have. And they would probably make a good deep fryer but I haven't seen a lot of people use it for that application. But that's what you know, that's what I would be angling for if I knew that I couldn't beef up the gas because I didn't own the joint you know what I'm saying? Maybe you own the joint I don't know which gets you on the joint put in a good freaking range.

Gotcha that makes a lot of sense. And is the outdoor deep fryer actually worth spending all that money and time on? Is it better Should I just stick with the pot on the stove?

It depends on how what you're like any love of frying is like Frying is such like a part of me that like for me it's worth having and if you're ever going to do a party that's primarily fry for like 20 or 30 people and you're going to do that even like two or three times a year than having a professional deep fryer that just stays rock solid at the temperature that you want and convey and can bang out you know like like 10 pounds of fries an hour or better that's not even that's nothing like for commercial fryer That's nothing for a home fryer banging out 10 or 15 pounds of fries in an hour is a pain in the butt and remember when I'm doing it I'm really doing more like I'll do like six pounds in like in like not that long wait a while for the next flight another six pounds and it's the ability to just put a lot of product in and still maintain high quality of your oil that's the hallmark of one of these professional fryers and you can get like on the websites you can get as a not not the best I don't have the best one but you can get like stainless steel kettle which is what you should go in for tube fryer for not that much I think I mean it's expensive but I think I think you can get them under a grand I think I spent less than 1000 On mine and and you know you have to convert it to run off of a propane tank and you can run them off of a 2020 pound propane tank no problem. Probably not when it's extremely cold you'll probably have some problems then but in normal kind of weather you know you can run it for a good a good length of time off of a single 20 pounder and it's freaking awesome but you have to be extremely safe you have to know kind of your distance from your house and all this other kind of stuff it's not something that you should do if you're not comfortable like with you know safety and like doing things to code

gotcha Well this has been super helpful thank you so much

All right happy frying. Okay. Got another question that we didn't have we

didn't do we do the food safety one for duck comfy read it. Okay. Hey David sassy Jack and CO I have a food safety question for this week's show. I'm visiting my parents this weekend and found two bags of duck comfy in their second fridge and chicken fridge. Second, I have like a bar or a hotel bar

and you're saying you like it you love it? Anyway go

ahead that I've made it Christmas

wait they made the first Christmas the contract

made it Christmas. Normally I'd I'd have not problems serving coffee that this old but I looked and realized the jelly never got taken out of the bags like it would have been had I made the coffee traditionally, I gave the duck legs traditional overnight care with salt and spices then vacuum sealed them with duck fat using a FoodSaver style sealer. They were then cooked at 80 or 85 Celsius for 12 hours is down quickly and have been refrigerated ever since. Because the jelly was still in the bag. I meant to transfer them to the freezer before I left at Christmas but I guess I forgotten they're still in the fridge. The bags look like they still have a perfect seal on them and there is no Loading or discoloration of or anything that said with traditional concrete, I always read that you need to remove the jelly for long term storage, would I be risking botulism or other contamination? And if I serve them, would you serve them to your family? Thanks, Jeremy.

Okay, I would not throw away the coffee. I'm just saying it's not it's not in my soul to throw away the coffee, the but a lot depends on like kind of what your assault levels are and everything like this, but the good news about botulism, The great news about botulism, you also can't guarantee by the way that you don't have something bad growing in there. Just because the pack hasn't, is still tight, like they don't they're not not all going to produce gas and be your friend that friend. In other words, be an indicator. That way however, good news about botulism is that botulism toxin is itself heat labile you can destroy it. So what I would do is I would just take those bags back up to like, you know, 180 or whatever, and let them ride for like or even lower, you don't even need it that high and let them ride all the way through to re destroy all anything that grew in there any bacteria that grew in there, and any botulism toxin that's in there. Now they there are some heat stable, right? So you got your heat stable and your heat labile Why the hell do they haven't run? So stupid? Say by a labile state by a labile step? Oh, it's stupid. It's like It's like inflammable and flammable. They both mean that catches on fire. That's the dumbest English like I love our language, but it's the dumbest anyway. So I there are some heat stable intero toxins, but I don't think that they're going to grow in those situations. Is there any way Rebecca you while we're working? You can like do a quick Google Odeon on that thing and see whether or not there are any heat stable and Terra toxins that will grow in a vacuum back? Hey, are what about the chat room? Isn't that what the chat room is built for? Come on chat room put me up. But yes, I would just heat the heck out. I would heat the heck out of it. And then I would I would I would eat it. You know? Also, I would, you know, I would pretend that I'm trying to be nice. And I would just eat a bag myself and wait a day to prove that I was still good. And it'd be like no server to my family after I already ate that delicious, crispy piece of coffee. But you'd like the coffee gets crispy on the outside. Love it. Love it. Do you know what? I don't like it when people don't crisp up the outside of the skin enough on the coffee. It makes me so sad. And you

know it would kiss up the skin on a deep deep fry series. Did you answer this one on Rose? Rose? Sally,

we do have another caller though.

Oh, caller you're on the air.

Hey, Dave, this is Ed from New York. I doing? Good. How are you? All right. I apologize in advance. I've been listening to your show from the beginning. And I'm only at episode 60. So these questions may have been asked recently, but

then I'll know the answer.

So I'm going apple picking this weekend. And actually something I heard your show way back from you was someone called in asking about being able to basically cook a bacon Apple kind of in its shell. So soaking, a peeled apple in Novo shape or calcium lactate and then cooking it so that it's still crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. So moderator sanitary stop selling Novo shapes. I got some calcium lactate, haven't been able to find any suggestions on what kind of what percentage to use, how long to soak it, whether I can do it in the oven. I don't have a I don't have any TV capabilities. So looking for some ideas on that. And then I had a second question too.

I think so. So okay, so you want to strengthen the pectin using lactate without an enzyme? I mean, really, I mean, you could probably do calcium, we'll do it. I'm just trying to think the best either way. So you said you don't have a vacuum machine. I don't. Yeah, I would just needle I would just like very finely like needle prick the outside of it, make sure you're acidify it so it doesn't get all nasty. And then just you know exclude all the air and a Zippy and let it soak for a while and then do like a quick, a quick poach in the calcium to try to get it into the like low, low temp poke. So try to approach the temperatures that people would use to do to do a pectin methyl esterase reaction, like the way Stein garden used to in potatoes and stuff like that. Which I forget somewhere in the 60s, I think, or 60s 60s or low 70s Or somewhere in there. You know, and then you can bring it up from there but let it let it soak in that bags, try to exclude all the air and the Zippy and do it that way and see whether or not you get you get a good reaction. Why they stopped selling oval shape, not enough people buying it. To Mrs. Patrick bag, I'll look into it again. But give that a try. I mean, like the things that people mainly use to strengthen things aren't actually calcium lactate, they're using things like calcium hydroxide, you know pickling, pickling lime.

In that make it better and you just have to soak enough out of it if you could do better.

Yeah, so what you do is you soak it in that for a while or while and then you take it, you take it out after after it's been crosslinked. And then you just have it with regular calcium, soak that stuff out and go, but that's what most people mean. That's what pickling lime is for. You know what I mean? And also, the variety of apple that you use is going to is going to be mean so that you could go I think, like, you know, the all of those ossified vegetable protocols are online. And you could do this a similar thing with an apple, I would guess. But then yeah, you just want to get the kind of the nastiness out.

Right. Right. Cool. And then a second question was, I'm planning on smoking and then frying a turkey. Dinner? Have you done that before? At any tips? There's not a ton. I've watched a couple videos online, but not a ton of instructions in terms of how long and temperatures for the smoking portion?

Oh, well, you're going to actually use the smoke as a cook.

Yeah, I think I think that was the planet trying to get a really smoky, but then so quit and then fry it for like 1015 minutes at the end. That's kind of most of what I read. said like, smoke it for two or three hours, and then fry it for like 15 minutes.

Yes. If me when I looked. I mean, like I like how temperature controlled your smoker, you can get a good temperature control. Yeah,

yeah, it's one of these pellet smokers that has a really accurate temperature control, I mean to five degrees.

Oh, all right. Well, that five degrees is good enough. So if you can maintain. I mean, the thing is, if, if you're going to deep fry it anyway, right, you could probably keep the moisture up and almost treat it like low temping smoking, you know what I'm saying because some people do or just get smoking however you want will cook it through cook it obviously, as low a temperature as you can to have it be cooked the way you want. I like mine. In the it's really okay to cook the breast in the leg at the same temperature as long as you're not overshooting by a lot. In other words, like the ideal breast temperature for me is somewhere like 64. And the ideal leg temperature for me is somewhere like 6566. So you're, you're talking a couple of degrees difference, but really, if you if you dry salt, the breast area, especially like on the inside and stuff, you can take it up to 66 it's not going to kill anything, you know what I mean? It's going to not be quite as moist, but it'll still be fine. And then I would just let that sucker cool, loud, pull it out. Let it flash off in the air. Right that's the trick. That's the trick to deep fry is let something that you've done low temp or anything else that let the sucker and you probably already are going to get the surface tacky, right? Are you a pellicle guy when you smoke to get a nice pellicle on stuff?

I haven't really looked into looked at it too much in the past, but I I've read about

it. Yeah, well, the trick is, is uh however like however you smoke it right before you deep fry it, you got to pull it out when it's still warm and let the surface get dry. That's the secret to deep frying anything is to have the surface be not wet. If you want to get a crispy surface on the outside, but you're not going to need to fry it for 15 minutes because it's already cooked. So especially if you're going to do it that same day, like I would jack that see most people when they're deep frying a turkey what they're going to do is they're going to reduce the temperature of the oil which is good for the safety thing, especially if the way people deep fried people people are lunatics with their target, they'll have like a wet Turkey they'll stick it in. And then like you get like this Geyser of oil the oil sprays up, they've overheated it falls on their burner and then all hell breaks loose, right. But if you if you are already have a cook Turkey, you don't need to go low, you can go up at regular fried temperatures. Now this is also unsafe. But the way I do it because I don't bust out the big turkey fryer is I always do like kind of a ladle fry. So I'll just ladle the hot oil over into a pot and keep it going. But that's it. That's it don't a bunch of safety concerns. But you shouldn't need 15 minutes on the fryer to get a nice crispy skin so long as it's dry. If it's wet, then you're going to need to lower your temperature on the fryer and fry it longer to get a crisp skin. But remember, you're then you're also going to have that dry overcooked, like a couple of you know millimeters of meat all the way around, you know I'm saying? Yeah, totally. Anyway, good luck with tweets back. Let us know how it worked out.

Yeah, for sure. Thanks, Michael.

I have a Twitter question for you.

What do you got? Well,

there are a couple but this one's exciting. Does Dave have any updates on his new book or index product announcement that you want to share?

Let me think about towards aid let me let me think on it. Okay. I wasn't what is your next question?

What Oh, his name is Nathan. He's headed to Mexico City in early March and wants to know what establishments he should visit for eating drinking. And what do you should bring back?

Well, you should bring back as you should, you should bring back in next thematic grinder and either a Matata a or, or mono if you have the if you're willing to bring it back. Like if you really look if you've never been Mexico before I've only went wants to real Mexico the other Mexico's I've been to has been like, you know, like Nogales and stuff which no offense to Nogales or any border town for that matter. It's kind of like you know, not, you know, whatever. I'm not gonna say anything negative about Nogales. Hello. But at least it was in the early 90s. I don't know. Maybe it's awesome. Now, Rebecca. You ever been in Nogales? I have not. Liz. Can't say how are you? Are you guys denizens of any Mexican border towns? To Juana? How is it? Is it nice now? Or is it helpful?

Um, it was, it was horrible experience. I think I had to go to the bathroom in a bucket. But that could be a grossly stereotypical statement. But it happened. You went to the bathroom in a bucket, I had to go and it was a long time to get past the border. So girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Right?

Was it a fancy bucket? And he was like a wooden

bucket.

It's kind of fancy. That's kind of a strong statement. You're like, this bucket is made of wood I'm gonna put into I'm gonna poop in it. That's all. Like, I had the opposite experience. Why didn't love it? I didn't eat when I when I go to Nogales here, you know, you're in and you're out. Because you're like visiting relatives in Arizona. And here's your boom in and out. But like, in Mexico City, I ate whatever the hell I wanted. And I was 100% Fine. Now, of course, I'm an animal and the stars hedge fund is saying I am not a human being and so like, I am not like you should not broke your foot yesterday, I broke my foot yesterday. Yes, I broke my foot yesterday. But that's a separate question. Anyway, but the so what should you do, you should get an extra medic, you need to go to Merced the market. As a craft market, his name I forget that you should go to that has actually some kind of good stuff you should go to, you need to go to Merced, like every day. And when you go there, you need to have this one lady whose name I forget her squash blossom case it is our like, you know, seppuku worthy, like, and they make you so angry. They make you so angry on the kind of how things work here in the US. And you realize when you have what she makes are people of her ilk. And she has the good moss and everything. But when you have it, you realize kind of why Mexican food is so terrible here. And it's because we aren't willing, I don't think as a culture to pay what it would cost to have an American make that style of food at that level of ingredient quality here in the US, you know, I mean, stars. It's like, it's like we calculated because I showed you the pictures, how much how much how much money with each one of those cases, he has a cost? No, like $20 per case. Yeah, right. You have to hire like a fancy and then a fancy like Chef who's going to charge you $20 For a case idea is going to like fancified up and then it won't be the same kind of like simple, awesome thing that you just like, you know, like can eat until you plots over there. You know what I mean? And so I think it's like you're caught, you're caught in this kind of situation where it's almost almost impossible to do kind of just straight ahead stuff at the same quality that they do down down there and it's great anyway, go to Merced. And I people in the Twitterverse here come up with some good freaking things. And if I'll ask fabulous to you shares fabulous, who you know Fabien Vaughn hausky from Contra. He is from Mexico City. So I don't know anyway. Well, the Mac someone's Mac died and came back to life again. Alright stars you got any?

Did you answer this Roussel of hibiscus? Yeah,

no, give me the question.

I have a one pound bag of Rosella flower pod in the hibiscus family that I got from a local farm share in Houston I'm interested in if you have any suggestions on how to preserve use them in cocktails, as well as any suggestions on cocktails that would accentuate their character. Liquid intelligence is lacking any mention of hibiscus unless it was mentioned on the one of the hen pages that have been torn out of the Houston Public Library's copy. I've seen eight ounce jars of Roselle pods and syrup sell for as much as $10 and plan on preserving some that way but don't know if these pods would have to be prepared in any way being emerged in a result syrup. I'm traveling to New York next week and I'm looking forward to checking out book or index now here's Jamie from Houston.

Hey Jamie from Houston. You know, I've never gotten the I've never used fresh I only I've ever used the dry. I've used the high the ones in syrup I'm presuming that they just preserve them by boiling a minute in sugar syrup. That's that's how they do them. But I have made a book or index and in fact there might still be on the menu. Depending on how they feel right now. It goes in and out of the menu. A high viscous drink now i biscuits tea is obviously you know, the non alcoholic drink is hugely popular and it's also very popular in in cocktails. What it brings hibiscus is like like obviously besides it's awesome color because lord knows I love a pink drink right? Yep, yeah, I love the pink drink. People out there as well. When I say people, I mean like people who are worried about drinking pink drinks like why are you so worried about bringing a pink drink? You know a lot of dudes that are worried about drinking pink drinks.

In theory Yeah, I do. You know,

the thing is like Maybe like when I was like 20 I would have been like, I'm not going to order the pink drink. I want to look manic now. I'm like, wow, wow, I don't care what you think about what I drink. Like that's the advantage of getting older and I guess being a drinks professional is I can really order whatever the hell I want at any time. And no one's gonna give me crap for it. And then nice. Hey, Rebecca, what do you think of people that order? Like like a man that orders a pink drink? What do you think?

I think I would like to shake his hand. Yeah, Liz, what are your thoughts?

takes a brave man to order a pink drink. But I'm sure there are plenty of really tasty pink drinks out there that even a guy can appreciate

many, many, many, many many anything with comparing Panther? Yeah, Pink Panther. Although it's not freaking pink,

Derek pink.

Oh, the Debbie Look what I'm saying is you got to get over that you got to get over the color thing you have three women here telling you that you should not worry about it. You know the problem is is you have to rock it. If you order the pink drink you can't be like am Sami American Franchione? Nobody likes someone who is sheepish about the stuff that they that they have that they ordered right it's like same thing with clothing Right? Like you see the one dude with a peacock feathers sticking out of his head but if he rocks it, he rocks it you know I'm saying Anyways, on the hibiscus one of the issues with high viscous and alcoholic drinks is it can be slightly astringent. The way that the acidity works it can be a little bit much in the back end. So when we use hibiscus we do infusions directly into the liquor and then we milk wash it so you just use a direct infusion of the hibiscus slash Roselle slash whatever you want to call it into the liquor like a gin or vodka is nice. Have we done rom I don't know if we've done ROM and then just do a milk wash on it. And it'll suck some of that stuff out and the milk washing technique isn't liquid intelligence and then it makes us like a like a champ drink champ. I'm a drink champ. For those of you who like that, so yeah, one minute one frickin minute all right, I'll tell you a quick story. Alan, Alan from Apple from from the UK we need to talk about apples but I'll give you a couple an apple thing I've also an update. Okay, Anastasia and I Booker and DAX are working on a centrifuge for home I will get let you just say that and this this weekend. I have an interesting cider technique that I came up with because I haven't sampled tree that and no so i i I use the centrifuge on the on the apples to spin out all the extra yeast and it's good I also my apple my cider technique is kind of crazy. So like we could talk about it next week if we have time. But I'll leave you with this one story. It's kind of cooking related because like I like in the wintertime I cook with wood in my woodstove. Right Okay, so there we go. wood cutting. So these freaking so you know what I like a lot Jack is you know, like it's like a cat hook that fits into like, like clips onto the log and you roll the log over. So the logs off the ground, right? And so that you can chainsaw into it and have your logs come off. Right. Right. Right. So and by the way, the moral of the story in case that I forget at the end the moral of the story is, is it it's a poor craftsman that buys crappy tools, right? It's a poor craftsman that buys crappy tools. Now if you're going to buy a tool, use it once and then never use it again. Then roll the dice and buy a crappy tool but if you ever you plan on using it all the time and you buy a crappy tool, you're a dunce, I'm a dunce so anyway, so I buy this live Jack I buy the cheap one which is weird I spent like you know like months trying to figure out what chainsaw I was going to get I got an old like professional Husqvarna used very good price anyways, so So this law jack right the first time I use it, it bends like crap and so like that now I'm going down I need to start cutting firewood because fall right? So I put the law jack on it put and it won't pull the log over center anymore. So the law keeps flopping down. Right. So here's what I do. Here's what I do. This is this is teaching me this is this is the world teaching me not to be a dunce. So I take the law Jack and I jam it down. And I'm like I'm so I cut a small log off that I can get to without burying my bar into the ground and doing my blade. And I'm like I'm going to I'm going to have you know the mask on and everything. I'm going to put the I'm going to put the log jack down to sit on it, sit on it in a freaking log pile and brush I'm going to sit on this freakin logic already people who do this for living No, I'm a jerk. And like, and I'm going to shove this piece of log under it so that the log itself can act as its own log Jack, right. But I'm like all of a sudden as I'm down on the ground, my butt on the ground, I'm shoving a log underneath of a pile that I've just lifted off the ground that hasn't been lifted off the ground in years because this was a blow down from Sandy that I'm trying to chop up for some reason it hasn't rotted yet. And I see on the inside of my helmet, like a hornet or a yellow jacket and then all of a sudden my body goes on fire and I've got shafts on I've got a protective helmet and they have zoomed out of the ground up into my clothes and all in my helmet and I throw the helmet up and I'm running up the driveway like trying to unbuckle my chest my chest around my ankles of slapping my head slapping my back. I get like, I got like 15 bites from These suckers and lows is like you're on freakin fire and the entire way up. At first I started screaming for someone to come help me like rip my clothes off and then I'm like idiot Why did I buy the bad Lord Jack? Why did I buy the bad freaking walk Jack and I could not retrieve my helmet for two days because I disturbed their nest so much that I couldn't get anywhere near that. My wife went down to look at the helmet and she got stuck just getting near the freaking helmet. So I poisoned the hell out of the helmet and I can get it next week. But my point is, don't buy the crappy tool cooking issues.

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